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PersephoneSea

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March 7th, 2008

05:07 pm: Highlights for me: /BEST tour moment and time to wave goodbye now...
Highlights for me:

• 'Space Dog' w/ my beautiful improv, 'Father Lucifer', and 'Little Amsterdam' (tori's soul knows) & just being upclose for it in Arizona.

• 'I'm a believer' in Seattle & just rocking out.

• 'Beulah Land' for my first show & getting my fav. doll Izzy in Oregon.

• 'Take me with' you in Anaheim.

• My Isabel moment, during a show coming down the stairs in Oakland (magical). Sometimes I love myself best alone.

• 'The Beekeeper', 'Power of orange knickers', 'A Sorta fairytale', 'Siren' (songs I requested-played all in one night).

• CALS first Oakland show (my #1 fav. song).

• My 'Parasol' finally played in Santa Barbara (I asked for this personally).

• Most of that Anaheim show- 'Liquid diamonds', 'Take me with you', 'Pretty good year' and 'Suede'-which I been dying to hear all tour!)

• Pip's screaming rant about the writers in LA.
(Fucking writer's cut my LOST episodes in half!)

• The drive from Oregon to Seattle, the drive from Oakland to Arizona and the drive from San Deigo to Santa Barbara.

•That tasty breakfast buritto in San Deigo! Omg! The bomb bitches!

• That piece of pizza & strolling the berkley streets w/ Joe & Ursula!

• Meeting Dai, seeing Jermone again, seeing Theresa again, spending time w/ joe & his mom, seeing Karen & Danni again, Katey, Drew & Kayla, Shelia, Lisa, just everybody I missed.

• Time spent with friends. :o)

• Best moment:
Jim, Lisa & me in the car on the way to an Oakland show-
Jim: So, I'm going to Hawaii, I'm stoked, I can't wait to swim in the water.
Raven: Better watch out for penis fish.
Jim: LOL
Lisa: LOL
Jim: Penis fish? What the hell is that?
Raven: Haven't you heard?
Jim: (not taking me serious) laughs.
Raven: It goes up your penis hole and lives there all happy.
Jim: Fuck that I'm wearing a condom when I swim. I don't want no penis fish.
Raven: Wear 3!
Jim: haha LOL
Lisa: haha LOL
Raven: haha LOL
Love it! Good times!
(Note: Jim's laugh is very contagious, it is so awesome-if there were ever an award for the best laugh for sure he'd get first place and go down in the record books and have seminars teaching people how to laugh like him). ;o)


So theres my review/seven weeks later/ I warned you to take a nap before reading, didn't I? Thought I was kidding? Believe it or not I left a lot out. Some things are best left unsaid. For now.


¤ Tour photos are in the photo section ¤
**ALL PHOTOS ON MY MYSPACE**
(imo: I didn't take nearly enough photos as I wanted to. It's upsetting & here I have this great new camera. I wish I would have put effort into the concert shots & wish I would have got 4GB sd cards so I could record more)
-I'm just full of wish ain't I!-


* I would like to thank Mark for all the hard work & time making me the intire bootleg collection, photos and artwork covers included. You have no idea how I felt when opening my door on Christmas eve, sick w/ a fever & seeing this big box w/ my name on it! Beautiful set, neatly packed-first thought-this guy has OCD and I love it! Thank you so much Mark! xox




~i'm still glad I went



"Afraid we've been changin' in a way I wasn't lovin'"...




It is what it is.





-Written by Raven Rogers
from her blackberry!

05:06 pm: 12/16 -LOS ANGELES-LAST SHOW. SAD disappointment





So we get up & I remember him being very quiet & in a bad mood. I woke up in a really good mood & told him it would take 20 mins. for me to get ready. I didn't have much to do that morning. Didn't have to tweeze my eyebrows & paint my fingernails like I had to the morning before and my hair was coming out great! Took me like 5 min. to do ny hair really. Val would kill me if she knew that I didn't own a brush & that I rarely brush my hair. I'm serious. I never brush my hair, I just run my fingers thru it 'cause when I wake up in the morning it's always in place. So I already had out my make up & what I was going to wear & bring. I was ready in a jiffy. I bet he couldn't believe it! Then when I was ready he took his time. And I didn't keep saying to him "hurry up, hurry up" like he did to me the morning before. I was ready in a hurry & in a really good mood. He kept picking his nose and constantly rubbing his burnt lips the whole time he was here. It was making me sick! Even showed him some medicated lip balm to buy when we were @ Rite-aid. Sheeesh. His lips were so red. I asked him what was the matter & he told me that his nose was plugged up & that he was congested and constipated & that it was making him be in a bad mood. Ok, a little too much information. He was moody anyways & now on top of that extra moody. I'm thinking "great, here I am in a great mood & ready to go & he's all plugged up on both ends and in a crappy mood. He's gonna bring me down, ruin my mojo man! Haha. So, I'm ready & waiting on his moping ass. I understand you don't feel good, I truely do-but snap out of it man we got a tori concert to go to! I wanted to make the last meetngreet just to say buy to her & show her something that she wanted to see on my phone. So I wasn't in a real rush, but I wanted to get there on time. I didn't have to be right up there in front, just as long as I had about 3 mins. To hug her goodbye since she's leaving for so long, show her the photo on my phone which would have took 1 min. & finally get that quick last piccy. The "good" one you know.
Wouldn't have took more than 3-5 mins. So, I was set & just waiting on him. Figures the day I get ready fast he's taking his sweet daddy-loo time. We're out the door & I had just a few places to go, longs to get some of his piccys off his sd card, stop for coffee & bagels and Circuit City had 4GB sd cards on sale and wanted to get one. So, I'm the kind of person-when I'm in a hurry I run in & run out-no bullshiting around. So into longs we go, musta took like 5-7 mins., then we go across the street to starbucks to get me a coffee frap & a sesame bagel & what ever he wanted. I was so hungry that morning! So it's just right across the street, we get there & before I got out of the car I asked him what he wanted. He didn't seem too thrilled that we were getting bagels, but what is he ever thrilled about really? So, this is where it all goes wrong! Clear as day I ask him as I'm getting out of the car "WHAT DO YOU WANT"? He replied "I'm really not that hungry, just get me a large capuchino". I even asked "are you sure that's all you want"? He said "yeah" and nodded. I asked him if he wanted to come in w/ me & he said "no, I'm lazy & I'm comfortable." So, of course I pay for all of it, like I been paying for everything. I saw a 100 dollar bill in his wallet & he was wining like he was so broke! Here I spent thousands literally on this tour already. Preparing for it, new wardrobe, new haircut (don't ask how much I got ripped off for a hair cut & colour-you would never believe it), new luggage, flights, food, tix, what have you... So, anyhow I go in to Noah's bagels l get my toasted sesame bagel w/ cream cheese. Then go next door & get my frap on & his coffee. I come out, get in the car & he seems all pissed off like a crazy person or something. He said I got him a medium instead of a large. Well, excuse the fuck outta me, go in w/ your lazy ass & get it yourself next time you little bitch! So we go to the next place, to run in & grab my little roll on perfume @ my beach shop, which is just right down the street from starbucks. All the way there he is bitching & moaning " I said I was hungry, how can you think I wouldn't be hungry"? (Wow, well, let's see here: BECAUSE YOU NEVER FUCKING EAT! Maybe that was a clue. He didn't eat @ the denny's after Santa Barbara, he didn't eat @ the other denny's after the Anaheim show. I always asked him "when do you eat"?) So, I said to him "you told me straight up that you weren't hungry & to get you a large coffee". He argued w/ me that he told me to get him a bagel. I asked him if he wanted the other half of mine, I'd be happy to give it to him. He said he didn't & that we would stop to get him something on the way (which I thought was fine). So, maybe I could get a Dr. Pepper too then! I'm about to run in the small shop real quick & he says "get your photos & get out of the car, I'm like thinking in my head, is this guy fucking nuts? Is he serious? He's kicking me out of the car OVER A FREAKIN' BAGEL PEOPLE!!!!! A BAGEL! This is how you treat a friend, telling her to get the fuck out of the car & leaving her stranded when you're in a hurry to get somewhere that's SO important, after all the shit I did for him in the past, over a fucking bagel! I was soooo beyond pissed. I asked him "are you serious, I said you could have half my bagel & at first you said you didn't want it, now you say you do, but you say you wanna stop on the way. Make up yor mind". I said "we're in a hurry, we gotta go". He said (AND YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS!) "Get out or I'm gonna call the police" LMAO. WHAT A FREAK! Are you for fucking real! Call the police, and what would you tell them? "She has to get out of my car because she didn't get me a bagel officer". What a jack ass loser if I ever saw one. On top of all of that, he's a liar! Who needs to be around a piece of shit like this the whole intire time he was @ my house I thought how sad it was he changed & wondered what happened to him & what a downer he is to hang around with. Bad vibes, bad energy. I remember even @ the Anaheim concert he was squishing us in, like my boobs were all smashed together, I'm thinking he needs to move. I ask him nicely if he could move down 2 inches, he's smashing Sheila into me. I'm not standing thru a concert like this. He just starred at me once again w/ that stupid face he makes and said "No". I said "why not"? He didn't answer, so I tried moving him myself & he stood there stiff as a board and wouldn't budge. What a fucking asshole of a creep. SO STUBBORN. What the hell difference would it make to him to move 2 fucking inches? Retard. Oh haha. Get this that reminds me, when we had to get gas he asked me to go in and pay and pump, that he didn't know how to? Wtf? He's like 26 or some shit! I asked him how come & he said in Costa Rica they do everything for you. So I guess he assumed he was coming over here to be pampered like a king or some shit & all this after he told me that he lives where there are still dirt roads w/ holes? Whateves! So, get out & learn. So I had to teach him this. All on top of this he drives like an old geezer, all this & in a hurry to see Tori. What things I go thru you have not a clue! So anyhow, back to the maddness. I just said "fine... I can't believe your doing this". Opened the back door & got my sweater & photos out. I guess I was in shock because I was speechless, people who know me well, knows I would have went off on his sorry ass & killed him w/ words. So, I walk into the shop, he pulls away, I didn't notice him leaving because survival instincts that I have to use way too often kicked in. I got instantly on the phone calling friends, "real friends". For a ride or at least part way. I called one idiot & she didn't answer as usual. I called a few more & they were already there or already on their way and most of them weren't going to leave until like an hour before the show. I texted Drew to see if there was infact a meetngreet, but I didn't get a reply until later that day. So, I'm thinking "great'. What else? I call the busline, I kid you not, as I'm put on hold, I purchase my perfume-haha-yes, all this & still the little shopper. I live here yes, so you would think I know my way to and around downtown LA, but I don't because I never go there. I have no need to. So I know Hollywood, Santa Monica, all the beaches & Valleys-but not LA. I live near Malibu. So, I get a route, call a friend and start walking towards the bus stop which was about a mile away. Good thing I'm an avid walker & walk fast. I was almost already to the bus stop when I finally got a hold of my friend. She came & got me, but guess what, I had realised this whole intire time of making these calls & checking online for stuff that my phone wasn't charged!!!!! The stupid outlet plug that I plugged it into overnight did not work for some reason. So here I'm thinking I'm stranded over here, trying to make calls & I got like 15% juice left. So I had to have my friend drive me back home, run in get my charger and take off. She drove me I would say maybe 1/4 or a little less than half-way. I then (GET THIS) have to jump on a bus that is almost an hour long ride, 50 mins. So I'm sitting there eating my COLD HARD bagel & I'm "ok" because I am still making good time FOR NOW. I get off & run down the longest escolater I think I ever seen, only to go down another one to a train I waited for to take me somewhere close to the venue. Nobody seemed to know where this fucking lame ass Nokia Theate was at, so I kept asking for The Stapels Center, 'cause I assume everybody would know where that was at. So this one lady tells me to get off at a certain stop, that when I get off there I would just go up the escolater & it is in walking distance. So it sounded about right. I get off that stop, go up 2 long ass escolaters, like running up them. I get up to street level and it's like a fucking ghost town. I see one homeless guy & ask him where The Stapels Center was & he didn't know. I try looking at this huge ass map they had up at the stop but nowhere did it read Nokia, Staples Center or Chick Hearn street (I remember Lisa telling me it was on this street). Now me hating sports w/ a passion I at least knew who Chick Hearn was, I even wrote him a letter when I was little. I use to love The Lakers, when they were good. Back when Magic, Abdul, Green, Scotty Pipin, etc. were on board. God, I can't believe I even remember their names. So, I knew who Chick Hearn was! But didn't know where the street was. I walked up the street, looked to my left & my right there was nobody around. I wasn't sure what to do. I was gonna ask a bus driver when out of nowhere walked by the little mexicain guy, must've been 4 feet tall! I finally knew, so I start walking. I have to admit, he told me a lot of info and different directions & talked super fast. I ran into another mexican lady & asked her, she said "yeah, I know where, follow me". So I go back down the elevater w/ her & get back on the trian, going the way I was headed in the first place, she told me that I had got off to early. That damn' bitch earlier told me to get off the wrong stop. I was so pissed! I was doing good time until all this shit crap happened!!! So GET THIS, I have to get off the redline train & get on some weird looking blue train I never been on before. And the way you find your way to get onto the train is retarded the way they built it. This cute little chinese couple were standing right there w/ me trying to figure out how to get on it w/ out jumping across the tracks. Out of nowhere these 3 mexican guys yell "over there, over there" in spanish & pointed to the stairs. So, we go up and twist around to another level, then to another flight of stairs, it's hard to describe how lame it was. Anyhow, so I get on & we sit there for like 8 mins. I'm looking & the time by this point & all worried. Then it let's me off in the middle of nowhere, yet another weird & retarded stop. Only one girl standing there I asked her where The Staples Center was @, bored & unamused she just said "over there" & pointed. So I cross the tracks into the cross walk & walk down the street. FINALLY I AM HERE AFTER ALL THAT CRAZINESS!!! I see The Staples Center & ask this black dude where The Nokia was, he just mummbled something & pointed. Gosh, what nice people they have here. Sheeeesh people, sorry I put you out of your way? Whateves I'm thinkin'. So I walk down the street, never being here before, I look up at the big buildings & spot it. I didn't quite know where I was going, or where the meetngreet would be! So I saw 2 girls sitting there & walked by them & asked "were you here waiting to talk to tori"! Or something like that? They answer "yeah, but I think you missed her, it just happened, she was there". So, I go & see for myself. As I was walkin' up, I see the pansy pussy mother fucker walking all gayly towards my direction, he sees me & starts to turn around in the other direction then turns back around & starts walking my direction again. I go right up to him & said "it wasn't cool what you did, that was so wrong, you don't strand your friend." He just shrugs his shoulders & said "yeah, I know but whatever you know" & walks away. Like nothing! All I went thru like it was no big deal! Right then & there I swear I wanted to use his face as a punching bag and wrap my hands around his throat! As he walked away I yelled "take your little faggot ass back to Costa Rica." (Note: I adore all my gay friends, but don't come off as a back stabbing pussy). So I turn back around & my friends were walking away like "we just came from a meetngreet". Not a good sign I'm saying to myself. Then I see Lisa sitting there up against the wall by her lonesome. She & others informed me that tori just went in, I missed her by 10 mins. Now, in my head I'm thinkin' "that sounds about right tho, I go thru all this hell just to have missed her by 10 mins." I was so upset inside, but never let on how insane it was! I tried telling some of my friends what happened, in short. Don't think they got it. They just had to be there or be in my shoes to understand what I was going thru. I was so pissed how the day went, but tried to put it aside & have a better evening & night.
So after that fiasco I try to forget about it. Standing on my left was a good friend Katey that I wanted to spend time w/ because she is so dear to me & I haven't see her for so long. Lisa's there, but took off somewhere? Noelle was on my right & I wanted to spend some time w/ her too. We were standing there talking & I see Angel & Jill talking to their new best friend Smitty. So strange to me, but I'm not going into all that crap here. That's a whole intire other story. Things are getting kinda gross and I go it's sleepy time. Perfect line at the time, because I was tired and grossed out! LOL. Let's just say I lost a lot of respect for certain people during this tour, and tori being one of them. Then again, I KNOW if she KNEW what I know-eh-things would be different & some peeps would be sent home packing. *there's several sea-secrets in me* On another level, wave length, mind set, radar screen and journey. "So are you with me or not I said." My leggs are on this path walking, driven to get there, not stop & spread them on the way. No need to. Sooooo, angel & jill walk up, hugs & junk. We chatted. All the while I was wondering what the hell she was wearing-it's freezing out here girl! We talked about LA. She doesn't like it. I told her I never come down here (sidenote: I can't believe I get lost so close to my own "hometown" & totally fine in other states & cities-haha-how weird is that?). She said she was going to move here, I remember her telling me this about 10 months ago. She doesn't want to anymore, but Jill is for school I guess. She kidded around that I could be Jill's new best friend. ;o) We talked about how jill chopped off Angel's hair when they were drunk. I don't remember much else. Me, katey and lisa had to go pee, I been holding forever. We all go across the street to some pub & go while Noelle checked the box office? So, we go in to these weird-ass bathrooms, come out & go walk around to look for something to eat. And I'm thinkin' I need my coffee first off. So we go into Starfucks & get coffee & I recharge my phone that desperately needed it. I get shot of exspresso & water. We all 4 sat & talked, it was nice being together again. I realised that katey, lisa and I (minus theresa-pink mohawk- that me & lisa spent time w/ in Oakland) were the same 4 girls travelling the Scarlet's Walk tour together, east coast/west coast/arizona/vegas/etc. thing. It was awesome. We took a few piccys. Me thinking we weren't finding any place to eat, I got up & bought some apple slices & caramel. Then as I sit down to eat it, the guy working there informed us that they were closing! Wff? I never heard of such a thing. Closing at 5:00? A starbucks? Whatever! So we leave & walk around-l don't remember, but some how katey's man appeared out of nowhere when we were standing on the street corner. Haha. Lol. Damn', all these cars & people appearing "out of nowhere" on tour. Lol. I better watch it, I need to get more sleep. I wouldn't even notice if tori walked right pass me. Lol. Very scary for somebody who is into detail. Green tea & crosswords raven. So, I think Lisa & Noelle go check the box office. I go w/ katey and her boyfriend to look for a resturant. We walked pretty far & we find a nice fancy pub/resturant sort of a place. Nice. I ate my apple slices & carmel, few fries-basically nibbled. Lisa called to find out where I was, I told her but I guess she didn't find the place or didn't want to come because she never showed up & never called back. My friend Peter (remember the one I mentioned earlier-I knew him for 8 years, lived not too far from me & finally met him, of all places in Oregon at the tori show) called me while I was there @ the resturant. He let me know he was here, he parked & was waiting for me infront of the venue. Awwwwweee, how sweet. I was so excited to go meet him again. I planned on sitting w/ him during the show. It would be a nice change & plus our very first show together? Hurrah! When I sit back & think about it, how the synchronicity of the universe works. I can't believe how magical it was meeting him for the first time finally and in Oregon, my first show of the tour & here we lived in the same city. Lovely. Ok...so I waited until katey and her baby were done eating their big-ass fat burgers. I went to the restroom & this had to be the most loveliest bathroom I ever saw, prettier than that one back in Oakland @ that vegetarian resturant. I even had to take a photo in there. Haha. Hey, what can I say, I'm into the architecture of things. Off I go to leave to meet Peter. I was walking fast, it was brisk out & I couldn't wait to get to him. He called again while I was walking & was all "where are you?" I told him to start walking & we'd meet up w/ each other. So I'm walking in the crowd and then I see him, his cute face! We hug & walk back to the venue. It was pretty cold out, people were scattered out everywhere. I walk up to some peeps I know & they were acting stand offish & I didn't know why, but we've since straighted that out & it was a simple misunderstanding on their part. So all's cool now, but it sorta put me in a mood. I was introducing peter to all my friends & walking around chatting w/ all the peeps I know. Even tho I liked the big tv/scroll thingy w/ tori's 'shame' photo flashing on from time to time, I did not like the building, it was all huge & steal. For the person who loves & adores architect, this was a nightmare and left nothing to be desired. So, while talking w/ friends here & there, peter & I were asking around for tix. Danni & Karen snuck up behind me, I love them! I always feel better when their there. They give me that safe, warm fuzzy feeling. I've known them forever. Karen's my baby! So, I'm happy their there. I spot Noelle talking to 2 older good looking dudes-ha-go girl! Lisa pops in and out letting me know about box office tix, so nice she is always up on that shit! ;o).
Shelia & lisa show up & sheila is stuck on me like white on rice! She's so funny! Somehow smitty comes out & I don't know how I noticed, maybe by the cluster of people around him. Most of the "regulars" as people call them. Of course, always there like their trying to score crack or something. To watch them all, not just them, but some others is quite funny, sad & disgusting all at the same time. Sure I might go stand near where he's at, so do others-but I would never get all up in his face, straight ask for a tix unless it was like a desperate kinda last minute thing or rub up on him & pretend to be his fucking friend. That is pitiful & fucking the lowest. I seen things on this tour that I have never seen on past tours. It was shocking, disgusting, pathetic and some of this ruined my tour experience. I can talk for a lot of other people who said the same thing. It was selfishness that submerged the last part of this tour. It all seemed to start in Oakland & there on, but the Oakland shows & the last 2 LA shows were the icing on the cake. I had had it. And I'm too old to be playing these little immature games. I'll go else where, I'll be cashing out The funny thing is is that these new people come out of nowhere. Their getting front row & they haven't even been around for that long. Lame. I'm like where did these newbies come from? (Let me be clear-the same new ones) Well, I'm glad that I was there when it mattered. OG, along w/ my friends. We're all standing there & people are asking for tickets. I stand near, if he sees me & wants to give me tickets he'll walk up to me. So, I don't like being so aggressive & I don't wanna seem desperate. So I see some nice random people just ask him for tix & he turns them down, sometimes lying, saying that he didn't have any left, then I see him hand over tix to the same 'ole boring "regulars". Same old tired bullshit. There are a few that are nice & have talked w/ me throughout the years. But there are a handful that make my stomach turn & if given the chance, there are 3 I liked to torture (well, one I don't consider a reg. 'cause she isn't one-but none the less she needs to go bye bye). I don't like to talk shit & make a scene, I have kept my mouth shut throughout the years, but from what I saw this tour-I just have to. I *know* some things that I will keep to myself, but I think what happened w/ the seating chart way back in Milwalkee, rather a favor was done or not, was pretty pathtic on everybody's part. I know about some other things to that if it got out, my god-armageddon-but this blog is not the sort of place to get into all that. That's for another day ;o). And another day it will be.
Ok, I did get sidetracked-back to the tix scene. So we're all there- and I have to say what I heard & saw was beyond eeeewwww. Smitty thinks he has so much power w/ these tix in his hand, which is a joke in itself. Well, maybe he does for the obsessive rabbid fans. But the stuff that he was saying-"ooohh look eveybody wants to be my best friend, everybody wants to be on my jock, I'm the shit tonight" as he smoked his brown cigar/ciggerette or whatever that is. Probably a blunt. Just kidding. But, no it was sick. He said other things that I will not repeat here. I wonder why he has to act this way & wish that he didn't. Joel had way too much class do say that shit & he never needed to. I miss joel. That was one cool dude. Yeah, he could have his moments-but he was always cool to me. I'll *never* forget this: on Scarlet's Walk tour he came up to me at The Greek Theate in hollywood (well, Los Feliz) & him knowing that was my hometown (yes, I walked to the venue-that's how close I lived) he came up to me & said "you know what, you know what I like about you, all these years you never come up to me & ask me for tickets". I said "yeah". He then said "how many tickets do YOU want? I said "are you serious"? He said "yeah, how many you want". He looked at me & smiled. I counted the friends I wanted to give tix to in my head real quick and said "Is 6 too many"? He chuckled & took 'em out of his pocket & gave me the best front row center tixs @ my fav. venue (which is an outside venue surrounded by trees in walking distance to my house. Every concert echos in the hills there, I love it & so do all the little squirrels, listening to tori while they nibbles on their nuts, oh shit, you know acorns!) And there I was surrounded my the friends I got to hand pick and she did my SEASIDE in the prettiest seafoam green dress. Perfect! He got me ;o) joel got me! Sometimes I'm hard to figure out, but that dude got me, plus he was there w/ tori from the VERY beginning-so they had a history, that's what I love. Mr. Agent Orange, knew tori & all her little 'ears with feet' well. He gave everybody tix, the regulars., random people, the sub-groups that follow tori (you know the ones that do like a whole intire west or east coast, or 10-20 shows every tour), not the same people night after night, after night. He was fair and he was cool. Anyhow, what I'm trying to say here is that things have changed and that scene outside The Nokia was a fucking disgrace to say the least. So, the same people got the same seats as usual. I went to go sit down & everybody was talking about how sickneen it was as they were still watching it all go done. Everybody was shaking their heads. We all know. Take a big step back & look @ the big picture and no I'm not talkin' about the song. So he left I guess, I didn't see him leave. The crowd dissapaited. Talking & walking & asking for tix here & there. Sometime after that Joe & his mama showed up & that made me happy. His mom was wearing a cute Santa hat! Awe. He took some piccys of us infront of that tori amos scroll. Later on-we're just standing in a group by the box office & Nina comes up w/ a handful of tix, "all crappy ones" she said. I didn't care-I care about getting me & my friend Peter in the show & if it's for free that's even better. By the end of the tour, I had to watch it. I can not believe I spent literally thousands of $$$. Well, I have everything now, set & ready to go for the next concert trail, whom ever that might be. Hanson, haha-just kidding, I'm thinking Regina Spektor, Fiona or Kate Nash? Who knows.
So, thanks to Nina (neeners, which I like to call her, but she probably doesn't like it- I don't know, she hasn't said anything yet-lol). I just remembered Nina spending the night @ my house like 3 years ago, wow! And her tripping over my neat-freak ways, haha). I really like the way nina doesn't brag & boast when she gets front row. Some of those clowns like to throw it in your face. I say "It's time to grow up now, get that pacifier out of your mouth & your head out your ass". So, peter & I got tix, so did a couple other peeps. We waited by the box office because my other friends were. They had tix, but were trying to get better seats. Danni kept checking in over & over & over. Lol. If he got a better seat, which he had 4th row already, he wanted to give Karen that one. Lisa decided to go in, she had a great pit seat (Ursula's seat-which ursula was sick & couldn't make it & had worked out for lisa to sit there, poor ursula got so sick-your presence was really missed!) Jim & Sammy J finally scored like 3rd row pit @ the last minute, after a funny game of cat & mouse at the box office. These people were looking @ us like we were all crazy. Haha. So we all go in after awhile, I was thrilled to be finally sitting with Peter, it was going to be so cool! I walk in-don't remember much about the lobby, but bright blue pillars and rude staff members. Think they even had metal detectors-how sad. I couldn't bring in my bombs and guns that I usually bring into the concerts that I attend. I was kinda set-off & disheartened. Whateves!
Next time! So we go in & I tell peter to just follow my lead, and he's all keen because he was stoked that I got us in the show for free. I told him I would and I did. So... I walk in just headed towards where I wanted to sit and I see of all people Johnny (tori's tour manager/friend) sitting there by Mark's soundboard. I been telling people that I missed his presence on tour, where did he go, I don't see him anymore". And there he was, yippee! Johnny & I have talked throughout the years and it was really nice to see him there. I went up to where he was sitting & I said "hi", gave him a hug & asked him where he'd been hiding & that I missed him & wondered where he went to. I told him it was good to see him and then walked off, peter following. We took 2 seats on the aisle that were "ok" seats. Not too far, not so close. But they were alright. And they were even more alright after that sucky setlist. I wouldn't care to be so close for this show. I thought this show was going to be something special & it turned out to be the worst show of the intire trip, well, really of any tori show I seen actually. Very disappointing, but we'll get into the show in a bit. So, we take our seats-and even tho that place was huge, I can still see all my friends sitting around. Funny-during the show-katey was sitting across from me, 2 rows down, in a aisle seat & she didn't know it-once she started taking pictures I said "no pictures young lady" in a mean stearn tone & scared her shitless, she all put her camera down real fast & turned around & saw it was me! Ha sucka! Love you katey bebe! I love playing tricks on my friends-and my not so friends-like slipping the blade in the marmalade well...
So anywho, I'm glad me & peter got to sit together the intire night, in aisle seats and not get moved. ;o). I had a rough day, so I was curious how the show would be & hoping it would put me in a better mood. It failed to do so. 12/16/07-Dec. 16 Los Angeles, CA. Nokia Theatre: First off, before I get to the set list I have to say- I hate this ghetto Nokia Theatre, everybody bragged about it being new & being the best place to see a show. Bullshit. The place is way to big, doesn't have that old time feel to it, no history, I felt like I was in a big steal spaceship-The staff were rude, aggressive assholes that pushed, cussed, spit when they talk, put their flashlights in your face and walk up & down the aisles all fucking night long, like every 5 minutes, distracting me and taking away from the show experience. The building & the people suck. That lame-ass staff better realise that people rush @ concerts, get use to it mother fuckers or get knocked on your ass! Stay the hell out of the way of rabbid tori fans (haha) or you're go flying. "Stay out of our garrrrden". We'll force-feed you Datura. ;o). --Ok, on to the show:
The only good thing about this show was my babe Izzy started it, 'Springtime of his voodoo', Pip's little temper tantrum about the writers, and 'Amber Waves' (hey, at least it was something new to listen to! & the song came out in her hometown (well, The Valley, but close enough) -besides I like this song-well, parts of it anyhow-there are some really good lines in this song-like: "he says he has a healing machine that glows in the dark, glows in the dark/she said there's not a lot of me left anymore/just leave it alone"-- "so I went by-'cause I had the time-tell the Northern lights to keep shining-they told me to tell you their waaaaaaaaaavvvvvvvvvvvvvving". Besides that she did nothing different, mostly same mundane set list as before. I do realsie that tori doesn't make the setlists according to the people that travel & see many shows, but shit! Give us something different-even the people that come to just one show would like to hear something rare and surprising. Did 'Dragon' go take a nap and was 'Honey' hiding in the 'Graveyard' or what? Another weird thing I noticed: tori hardly spoke this night or said goodbye?





Just a little hand wave & off she went. And oddly my video was fine all tour long, then I noticed when she & the band did their thing that they do together it went all completly blurry, and at that point I was near the pit- it was eerie-I tried to adjust it, no good. I remember saying underneath my breath "what a way to end a tour, it's the best way to describe it-it was all a blur". Another thing I noticed-(detail driven virgo, sorry) after 'Hey Jupiter' tori did try to say something really sweet & endearing (you can tell by the look on her face) into the mic, like to say goodbye to us all, but her stupid husband turned the mic off too soon. I have it on video. Thanks Mark! Fire him tori! Just kidding. I love the family atmosphere really. She did seem really sad when walking away from the keyboards to john as they went off stage together, it was cute, so sweet how she walked straight to john real fast like for support, she didn't want to walk off stage alone. He looked right at her face and put his arm around her & hugged her as they went behind the curtains. Such a finale goodbye feeling. When I watch those last few seconds of the video it makes me sad. Then it makes me think back to all the previous tours & get all nostalgic. "I was here, I was here". "How did it go so fast"? And that was it-
That was it-just like that-just like nothing happened. That was the end of my little tori world with my huge tori family, I don't care-rather good or bad-we are all there for the same reason-because of one tiny woman and all her girls. We have that one thing in common. Although I wish some things were different in this tori world I know I have all these memories. And as we all spread to the four winds and we all go our seperate ways I know we'll all find each other again, in the same places, with the same faces, in our little tori world to make new memories for all of us to remember 'till we're all old in rocking chairs, telling little ones w/ excited eyes "how there once was a piano & a redheaded girl that were best friends that I followed". Now, I like the sound of that. ;o). Don't you? -
The lights went on and I know somewhere behind that curtain I'm sure a tear was shed. The lights come back on & I'm just looking around like everybody else was. Some people seem fine & on their merry litte way. Others SEEM fine, but I can tell their playin' it off. Some are sad. I turn around to see nina crying pretty good, I hugged her & told her it was ok, she said "I know" as tears rolled down her face. Awwwe I felt so bad. I think I was like that after Choirgirl. Danni kept yelling "anybody wearing a red coat (the rude staff) sucks & can all fuck off". He's right, they were rude to everybody. We were hanging & talking until the staff pushed us out. It's like nobody wants to leave the piano :o(. We all walked up slowly. John was standing there & hugged me. Nikki blew me a kiss, but I went into hug her. Her helping me out w/ that tix was cool. I would have done the same too. We go out to the lobby where a lot of people were just standing around. Me & my friends take some piccys, sammy j, suzanne, peter, karen, danni, shelia, etc./if you think I took a lot of pictures, I'm actually upset because I think I didn't take enough. Well, it is what it is. Glad I got what I did. Wish I wasn't so "relaxed" w/ the concert shots, I didn't even really try & wish I did. But that means I focussed more on the music. So...
I'm so glad I got to spend the intire evening & night w/ my long time friend Peter and show him how it's done! Haha. Oh oh yeah, before I forget, I forgot to mention-he was right behind me during the code red rush & didn't skip a beat. He's fantasic! I saw nina sitting on the floor still crying, but felt better when I saw nikki down there w/ her talking to her. Some of us say our goodbyes right there & then. Some of us will save our goodbyes after our end of tour dinner. Which I sadly missed. I went outside & it was eerie how qucikly everybody left. They all probably went home to cry in their pillow over the setlist. Just joking. So, most everybody was gone. As the staff were standing there, we were talking out loud how rude they were & how I couldn't believe how they had a metal detector. So, peter & I walk out w/ Danni & karen. I think danni recorded me giving a end of tour speech, that will most likely never see the light of day if I can help it. Haha. So hugs were in order. Danni cracks me up w/ the things he says. "Oh raven you say that every tour". ;o) He wants me to be PC! It ain't happening! LOL.

Karen & Danni leave @ some point, I'm not sure , I don't remember how or when? The place was a ghost town...But as I walked around the corner to my pleasant surprise there was Val & her friends. Yah! She grabbed my hair and started having a conversation w/ it as she petted it. Haha. We chatted & she locked in my digits in her phone & we hugged goodbye. As I was walking away she told me to make sure my hair gets it's beauty sleep. Lol. Love you Val. (and it was fun having that late night text chat w/ you ;o) and it was fun texting you all during this trip, my eyes almost popped out of their sockets when I saw that I went over my text messages-get this-by 1,204-haha-like is that possible?-good times=big bill!).
-The next thing that happened is personal & will not dicuss. It was tramatic for me. "Thought we'd be flying-maybe not this time"/ Let go in small doses... Or better yet make me a day. Maybe I don't wanna go to where you're not, and so... But I can't stop what's coming, can't stop what is on it's way-and I see it coming- and it terrifies me!!! -this quiet siege
I've got your mind & you got mine... I am piecing a potion to combat your/this poison. Soul-trading and I sober with the witching hour-me and my deals w/ the universe and something about that open road-Tori foxed me in her grove- honey-sugar and molasses, pass the apple orchid, thru the solar fields and code red starring at me. Girl you foxed me in your grove...Still, What's it gonna take? She thought I was sleeping when I got to the pretty sea-but I just watch her die with my little lie. As fast as you can-because between cottonballs & xylophones I'm getting old. So keep that light on & that photograph beneath your raincoat. I will fox you in my grove. Still...what's it gonna take? I got me some horses to ride on, to ride on-send this message to T. -
After this life-changing moment-or rude awakening-I take off- It's never been so clear. She's gone. In so many ways. Don't think I'll be going as fast as I came... and I didn't pysically-but otherwise I was far gone, I been gone for miles now without looking back. Thank god that nobody saw, it was just me & peter-she didn't even see. Don't think she would even if she did. -I take off & peter & I walk about a mile to his car that was parked under a bridge. By the time I get to the resturant to have the farewell dinner, everyone was outside in front saying their goodbyes. I thought "great, a perfect way to end a shitty tour"... As in, things didn't turn out like I had planned. I've loved pass tours, this one was different. Not sayin' it was all bad, but stil... come on.
So, I get out of the car & say goodbye, give my hugs and kisses and best reguards. Weird that I wasn't even teary-eyed at all like I use to be in the past. Nothing. This Numbness.
It all happened so fast, my little west coast roadtrip flew by way too fast. So, we all get in seprate cars in the cold, quiet, still night. Ghost town really, just us. Eerrie. We all went different ways. I wanted to drive pass the street where the venue was just because. ;o)
On the way we pass jim & lisa getting into their car that was parked by the venue and I give them a wave. Bye babies...so sad. Then as soon as we got back to that little side street by the venue, I saw tiny tori getting into the white SUV, saw her little leggs and that was it. the last I'll ever see of tori again? And it was her leggs. Haha. I don't know. Am I driven??
So that was it, we were the only car out on the streets, can't believe such a place that has hundreds of people walking around between the venue & the staples center just hours before could become so still and desolate so quickly. Just like nothing happened.
-so we get on the freeway and peter started to drive me home. Criminy-crickets and then it kicked in. It all ended in so quickly & I didn't get to properly say goodbye to my peeps & it just sucked. It was late, I was cold and tired. 2:15am, I called a friend to see where she was & where she went to go eat after the show. She really helped me out and I'll always remember that! Thank you. She always knows what to say. Sometimes she may not understand how I feel, but she has a huge heart and a way with words. We somehow got on the subject of christmas and she offered to spend it together. I was crying because everything has changed, tour wise and I was so pissed-I since have cooled off and settled down, but my god-if I wrote my blog that night-what a different kind of review & experience you'd be reading right now!! I took my "last tour photo" in his car. I big flip-off. That's how I felt/and partly still feel...
* I was under-prepared for this tour even tho. I knew it was coming. I was undecisive if I was going or not, went out on a limb.
I really didn't make any plans w/ anybody. Just sorta made it up as I went along...
For the most part I was pretty disappointed in the latest tori tour/10 show/roadtrip I took in general. When will I learn to stop making plans because nothing ever works out as I plan it. This time not even remotely close.
Tori seemed tired by the time she got to us on the West Coast. She had low energy except for a few songs here and thee. At times even looking fatigued. I know she's human, but if you don't think you can hold out for so long then don't make so many dates and this huge ass world tour. I love T. -you know I do, I am just pointing out what I saw & how I feel and that's how you give 'proper review'! By not thinking the artist farts gold-but pure honesty. I know, some people can't take it. Oh well. Not my problem. She had no passion, like she was forcing herself to sing. I don't blame her, being bored w/ the same set-list night after night. There were times I strained to hear tori. Again, another tour where the bass overpowered her (sometimes). I was sad to notice that at times her piano was muffled.
The big deal to me: The Setlists: very predictable and uninspired. She has a huge catolog of songs, why play the same songs over & over? I don't get it? She didn't even play half the songs on the new album & isn't that what this tour is all about "promoting the new album"? What happened to 'Dragon', 'Fathers' son', 'Dark side of the sun' 'Velvet Revolution', etc... -even 'Programmable Soda & I would have loved to hear 'My posse can do'- I mean, what, they are only like 4-5 minute songs. I/we missed 'Graveyard', 'Honey', 'Frog on my toe', 'Here in my head', 'Iieee', 'Icicle', 'Pandora', 'Mary's of the Sea' and my god 'Apolo's Frock'. She didn't even do 'Me & a gun' -Pip in Anaheim. LA-the place where it all happened-you would think so- I was curious to see what it looked like. Not sure how I feel about that whole thing. We didn't even get 'River' (last show-christmas song-something new and different and surprising)-guess not. Strange. There's nothing worst than regurgitated setlists. I know some people get mad when other people complain about this-which I don't understand? It's my opinion, to each it's own. At least I'm honest, not delusional and thinking that everything tori does is just so perfect pretty peachy and right. Not! That's with everybody honey. There's the pros and cons to everything in life. And what's the deal about not talking to the audience? I miss that "give & take" interacton w/ the crowd. Even the last night of the tour, she said like 5 words, a quick little wave & off she went. It was sad, sad as in WTF happend?
I know things change/changed/changing, but wow. "Afraid we've been changin' in a way I wasn't lovin'" NO DOUBT-are you kidding?
This tour felt cold, rushed and not as fun as they use to be. Although not all of it was bad & awful, still...I was just shocked & taken back.
Tori seemed like this machine. This money-hungry promoting machine. A sony tool. Are all these Dvd's, bootlegs, vip packages to tide her over for the 4 year break or what? $$$
I am just wondering & thinking out loud here.
Hope all this was worth it. The DVD better be good and not like the WTSF video, which I don't even own. I saw it at a friends house when it first came out & I threw it in the trash-he didn't mind. He dug it back out as we were laughing. Good times, good times. I should probably go buy it now that it is probably on sale. From what I saw of it being film-nothing special. I sure do miss just that cute red haired girl & her piano. No wigs, no glam diva shit- I dare you to come out w/ overalls & a flowered thermal top underneath. The hair a hot mess & just come out & fucking paunce. I want that cross-eyed tori drooling as she belts out father fucking lucifer. Ok, I know I'm living in the past-sometimes that can be nice. I understand things change people! But come on here! I'll even take a pretty flowing gown from Scarlet's Walk w/ a ribbon in her hair doing 'Crazy'. I just , I just don't know... The Merch has been sucking for 2 tours now, the tori tour family atmosphere has gone...been gone for miles now... Like I said before & I'll say it once more: I miss Marcel, joel. The Dent (you got to admit that Mike Why is the bomb! We're friends & still talk-he says "Hi by the way") I loved The Dent-they always posted your concert reviews, rather good or bad. They were fair & didn't believe in censorship and ass kissing. This Undented bullshit, they won't post your review unless it's "ahhh tori pissed a river of gold tonight on stage and did cornflake girl 5 times over and even did that tongue rolling thing it was like nothing I ever seen before, she 100% perfect-she can do no wrong". It's pathetic you can't state the good, the bad and the ulgy. I wrote up quite a short and sweet review that was mostly all "rave reviews", and they didn't post it, as they didn't post a handful of my friend's reviews either & I'm the meanest outta that bunch ok! So, goes to show how they like to put the tape across your mouth, but foam can be dangerous.
It's pretty lame. The tori world has come to this? Oh and let's not forget the 2 faced idiots that fester & linger @ her shows. The vultures. The arrogant, obnoxious, child-like dictaters! We can't forget them can we! Of course not because their selfishly oblivious to the fact that their ruining others tour experiences. People say 'oh just ignore them" yeah rightfully so!, but it's kinda hard when their so loud and "right in your face". Their egos are larger than their common sence tragically. Their tempermental sociopaths that say "hi" to you one day & all friendly then the next day it's like-walk right pass me w/out saying hi and pretend you don't see me". Whew.
What weirdos! They ease-drop on your conversations w/ tori @ meetngreets. They fucking piss people off then play it off like-"but what did I do". Please. Can we say passive agressive. Their twisted, manipulative, conniving and have got to go. Get a real life!
Do you have your own passions or do you live thru tori's. Such draining leaches. Thet are never gonna "get there" so give it up already. Geez, just like tor says "you've got to know when it's time to turn the page". It really is to this point. Their so disrespectful and unpleasant to look at or be around. I'm talking about some of them, not all. The good ones chill-the uglies, you know who you are. They make REAL tori fans look bad. They are an embarrassment when I am bringing a "new ewf" to a show, or someone's mother-and they look over & see these animals and sluts acting up & I watch them get this look on their face, and it's a puzzled one and then I have to interrupt their "what's that?" comment by saying "oh their not all like that, please don't get that impression" as I pull them away. And then have my other friends reassure them "tell her/him their not all like this". It's truely sad & pitiful. I been there since the beginning. I have seen more shows than some of them, but I'm not a forceful crazy bitch as most of them are. You don't need to be. I would NEVER want to be clumped in w/ them. Somebody came up to me this tour and when talking she used the term "a regular" to describe me. I had to pause and correct her, after saying eewwww. "No honey-I'm an OG (old school) not a regular, there is a big difference." And there is! I would never want to be looked at or associated w/ that kind of sickneen behavior. I refuse to label myself one of them. With the way they treat their "fellow tori fans"-calling them randys (as in random). That's how you treat other people who are there for the same reason you are there for. Who gave you these rights? Because their nothing but wrong. Grow up! Grow a pair and realise there is more things out there to worry about then "how cool you think you are when you put other people down", yeah you might get a quick laugh-but when all is said & done-you're just standing there looking like an ass. One big asshole. That's how you'll be remember in this whole tori scene. One big selfish asshole that helped no one out but yourself. You don't understand the essence of tori at all-and don't tell me you do-because this goes against everything she stands for. Then again, tori herself has turned into the very one thing she said she would never be...so... Who knows. I know one thing FOR SURE- Tori is getting quite a snow job from a few. It's that two-faced, multi-personality thing again. Yeah, sure she knows who she's giving tix to retard, BUT she doesn't know the real you or how you treat others like shit. That's the whole point dumb asses. Manipulative nasty sluts-that are not even nice to look at! Hollycrap! No eye candy here! Tori shows are supossed to be about musicianship, storytelling, emotion and being surrounded by like-minded people, not this pathetic cry for attention. And the numbers keep growing. Things are sorta meaningless and lost now and if people can't see the difference then your blind, in denial, or BOTH!
Like I said before, when you have to look down @ your ticket to make sure it was infact a Tori Amos concert you were attending, that's pretty fucking sad and that's saying a lot.
I wish Tori knew where her real fanbase was. The hardcore toriphiles, the ewf crowd. The people that are actually there for THE MUSIC. Remember we're not all nineteen, bisexual-curious girls, trying to smoke, be bad ass w/ a bad red-dye job. Not sayin' there is anything wrong w/ young fans-it's great to keep it going-passed on thru to the next, but I think you get my ponit. EVERY TOUR- we see it. The girls get their attention and disappear. It's sad & pathetic. Some people are there because music is their life! - and this crap w/ that little piece of paper that will more then likely determine if you're gonna have a good time or not-that little tix you hold on for dear life. Lol. Now Tori- w/ all the snow jobs and blow jobs it's hard not to notice. I guess t. assumes she's giving them to the right people, but some of who she considers to be the right people are among the worst. Seriously. And we all know this. Then some of these peeps will turn around & talk shit about her behind her back.
Smitty is disgusting & rude, gets off on his little power trip as if he matters. Telling girls to light his ciggerette for him or else their not getiing tix. Asking girls "where's my kiss" when he feels he deserves it for giving them tix. In Santa Barbara I saw his gross ass trying to pick up on these 2 girls (which were muts) and trying to get them to go w/ him. WTF? They were trying to walk away & he kept following them. He's clueless & hard up. He'll take anything I guess. The "sike" thing is immature too. Where he goes up to you, takes out the stack of tix & acts like he's going to give you one & then walks away. He's done that to a few people I know and myself. The worst-when he says he'll give you one & then doesn't it's all his little games. But you can't fuck w/ this jedi mind trick playin' girl-'cause "I'm not a girl who misses much". I see everything. I am the eyes & ears of this institution! (The Breakfast Club-sorry I just had to do it) I know a lot, but play it off like I don't, everythings cool. A breeze. His "hands on approach" needs to go. He doesn't need to be touching on girls & they don't need to be touching on him! He hasn't been there, he doesn't even know what's going on. I know I was here long before he was...just sayin'. Giving tix to the same people every single night that pretend to be broke & 'tori it would really help us out" bullshit. Rather you gave money to RAINN or not, it's just not right. Bribe your way in. That's it. Sickneen. Appauling. Sad.
Like I said if tori knew what a cunt
you truely are you wouldn't be in that seat or who knows, in any seat? I become more disillusioned everyday where my tori is concerned. ::sigh:: on account of those rattlesnakes, as my friend Ursula so eloquently put it "...And don't let the often medicore setlists and preferential treatmaent by smitty fool you into thinking we had anything but a wonderful time." Ahhhhhhhh, what a breathe of fresh air. Couldn't have said it better.

05:02 pm: 12/15 -ANAHEIM *Take me with you, bare feet runnin w/ you*








12/15-
Don't remember much or what time I woke up. I remember getting ready in the bathroom, make-up and that my hair was/did not go right. It was flat, the bangs were lifeless. I remember trying to fix it, but after awhile just gave up. I remember him annoying me to no end. He kept sayng "relax, relax". I wasn't even saying anything but-"fuck my hair won't turn out". He was having a manic episode or some shit. Like rainbow fucking bright. So annoying. He kept rushing me, "hurry, hurry. Which is a joke because I don't take long to get ready at all. It takes me like 5 minutes to put on my make up. I hardly ever wear make up & wear my hair up in a bun any other day. So, I don't like to take forever. Warped-speed if fine w/ me. He kept saying he wanted to watch me get ready, altho I kept sayin' "I don't like someone watching me get ready!" He insisted on standing there in the doorway the whole time. You know when you're in a hurry & hair isn't going right, it's like "don't watch me!" I also told him that I was allergic to cologne, to please not spray on in the house, if he can do it on the balcony. He kept putting the crap on & too much of it. It was way too strong. Like I didn't say anything at all. He still continued to gag me. He asked "are you allergic to it or do you just don't like it" I said "both". So I already had my stuff ready to bring. We were kinda taking our time, knowing it was only 1 hour drive. I figured there wouldn't be a meetngreet anyhow & I was right once again. We got in the car, he programmed the GPS and we got on the freeway. He wanted to play the Aerosmith used cd he got the day before. [roll eyes]. Love old Aerosmith, but new-kinda cheezy. So, this is when I get really annoyed. He drives sooo slow like an old man. Here we want to get there at at least a decent time. We get stuck in traffic on top of that. Here I'm having a anxiety attack & he's blasting aerosmith & fighting w/ the lady talking spanish on the GPS. He's all bitching, like seriously bitching that the stupid GPS lady won't talk & tell him where to go. I told him to be patient & she will. She doesn't talk every 5 fucking minutes. He was so stressed out that he was stressing me out. I was happy tho because that part of anaheim is so pretty from what I remembered and I had the feeling that tonight was going to be a good show. AND FUCK WAS I RIGHT! I couldn't wait to get there! He said it was the smallest venue she was playing at. That how funny it was that she was playing the smallest venue of the tour that night & the biggest venue the last night. I took a few piccys on the way. We were supossed to get there @ around 4:00-4:30, but 'cause of traffic we got there @ around 5:00-5:15? I guess? So I see the venue & get all giddy, then I look across the street & see a Starbucks and get even more excited. I been holding my pee for 2 hours! So he passes the venue & the starbucks & turns around. We pull into the starbucks parking lot & he parks kinda far away, I don't know why? There were so many empty spots. I get out & head to the bathroom & the door is locked "what luck I said". So, I stand there waiting by the bathroom door, looking out the window. When I'm nervous or excited or when I don't even realise it, I sing. My fourth grade teacher even said that on my report card. She said I sang in class & in the hallways. Whateves! I didn't even realise it & she was tryin' to get me into trouble! So, I stood there singing 'Teenage Hustling' & the door opens & it's Lisa, my little Lisa. Haha. Out of all people. She comes out in a very good mood & smiles & said "I knew that was you". Lol. She's so cute. She looked cute in her little pink Regina Spektor t-shirt. I told lisa to come w/ me I had something for her. By the look on her face you would have that it was a bomb? Lisa! We have our little tiffys, but I still wuv you. I would never give you a bomb. ;o)
After all you were my travelling buddy from the get go, I know things didn't turn out as planned, but... I wish things would have turned out different. But I do love you. Hope you know that? She follows me to the car & I give her a few prints I made her of tour. That piccy I took of her in Seattle w/ tori. Then I went back in starbucks to get a coffee. I ran into some more people I knew. I got my coffee & brought it into Panda where manuel was eating. I told him I was gonna go check out the scene. Walking out to the cross walk I ran into Jaimee & Erin again. I always do! Haha. Everywhere. I walk over & see sammy j & the usual suspects sitting in the general admission line. How long has it been since I'd been to a GA concert? Haha. Might be fun, might be different I thought. I been to The Wiltern since they tore the seats out, but that's about it-besides tiny local venues I go to. I go up & start talking to friends. It's always good to see familiar faces. It's always so good to see Rich, sitting in his chair! Haha. He's so smart to bring a chair. The bomb baby, the bomb. so as it goes, I never been to this venue, but it was pretty & I liked it. It seemed to me that we sat out there forever. I always have to walk around-so I did. I had to still look for a ticket. Lisa & I walked around looking to see how far the line went back. Wow. You mean these people actually line up? Just kidding. Me & danni walked back to his truck, because he's a diva. ;o) he had to change or some shit? Haha. Shelia came up to me & started petting me. Oook. I ran into Val again. What a darling this Val is. She kept telling me how "out of this world" my hair was, what products do I use & so on, omg, you are so fab! Grabbing on to my hair & running her hands down it. Lol. She kept going on for a good 10 minutes and here I was gonna have a fit 'cause it wouldn't go in the morning, it had no life. She really knows how to make a fellow girl feel good. Thanks Val darling. Every body that night kept tellin' me how good my hair looked. Wtf? You guys are backwards! Guess they like flat ass hair? Drew & the lovely Kayla (god, how does she do it?) So freakin' pretty, they were hangin'. Char, my main man Jim, jesse, every fucking body. I had to go to the bank to the ATM & go pee, so Rich asked if he could walk me over there. He's so sweet. On the way back he talked me into getting this gross ass sandwitch-sorry Rich, that shit made me wanna gag. I later run into Angel & Jill again (from the east coast) didn't know they were gonna be @ the last two shows (they went to the 3 Oakland shows). I asked her where she went to after the 3rd Oakland show 'cause I wanted to talk to her. She said she waited for a taxi for 3 hours. Huh. That Jill is so sweet. So soft-it's refreshing. She has room in her heart for more than herself. And that's the kinda peeps I like. Hugs, then me & lisa were off. I just kept roaming & chatting. I went to go back & stand w/ my friends. We took a lot of photos. I love danni w/ that damn' camera & little video clips! He's so funny. I think this was the night that I had the most fun before a show, besides Oregon, Seattle, Arizona & that drive to Santa Barbara! Good times, good times. I know I'm missing a lot of things & detail here. So finally the Bonnie to my Clyde shows up (joe) w/ his mom & by this point I still don't have a tix. Neither does Joe. I never worry about tix on tour. It always works itself out. This one was a bit different. I wasn't finding a tix, this has got to be the one time it was taking forever. There were just about a handful of people that didn't have one. But AGAIN & like always it worked out in the end. THANKS TO NIKKI :o) I got a tix @ the last minute. Well. Ok-20 minutes before they were gonna let us in, the herd. Nikki must have over heard that I didn't have one or something? Called me over to her to get some dude's phone # to call. She looked it up on her phone, as she read it off to me I programmed it into my blackberry. She said that he wanted $40.00 for it. I said "that's fine". Thanks so much Nikki. That was very kind of you. So I call this # franticly because like everybody starts freaking out @ this point? So he's almost to the venue & I describe myself & what I'm wearing. I kept calling him every 5 minutes or so. Haha. To see where he's at, I couldn't understand where he was tellin' me-i'm not familiar w/ the area. This went on for about 15 mins. He finally pulls up, I'm on the phone w/ him & he says "I'm here". There's a few cars that pull up @ the same time & I'm not sure which one is him. So I just go start walking towards the cars & Joe says "you want me to go w/ you"? I said "yeah". He rolls down the window, waves & I go up and hot digity damn' I thought I was getting my tix from a witch. Haha. So, me & joe are just standing there. I get my wallet out & give him the $40.00, he gives me the tix. And by the way his name is Matt. Thanks Matt. I included him in one of the pictures I took inside the show. We walk back to the line. And out of nowhere, everybody started congradulating me, taking photos of me like I was a fucking movie star, this is what they must feel like everyday. Haha. Wtf guys? I lOVE my frennzz! I weally weally do! So I noticed 2 staff members came up & opened the gates when I wasn't looking. They kept tellin' everybody to walk once they let us in. Then Somebody (I think danni) told me there was a video camera there watching the whole thing. Haha. He was like filming the marquee or something. Whateves! Out of nowhere Joe runs up to me w/ his mom & says "I got 2 tix, $200 tho!" Pisses me off. Who the fuck was the ridiculous asshole that over charged my friend? Fucking scalpers! So they let us in & everybody was pretty much calm. I was pretty much up in the front w/ my friends, so I went right in. They had us going in one or two @ a time. I walked fast, like power walked. Haha. The funny thing is- is that If you asked me to describe the inside of that place, I couldn't. All I remember is walking in & drew was in front of me & we were speed walking. I'll never forget the look on the faces of the people that worked there. They were looking at us all & laughing! Wtf? I said "are you laughing at us?" Like they never saw anything like it before? Weirdos! It looked like they were serving popcorn. Wtf? So I go in & I'm so happy 'cause I see the people like down in front on the lower level & it looked so uncomfortable & squished-happy that drew was in the perfect spot. Then I see Char to his left. It's like a relief, here we get like front row of the 2nd level (if you seen how tiny this place was you'd know why I was happy) plus we have something to lean up on. Cool. What I really loved is when all my friends piled in around me after that. What makes this show so memorable for me is that I WAS surrounded by people I wuv. ;o) I had Kayla next to me & Drew.
To my right Shelia and Manuel (use to love), and behind me, Lisa, joe, joe mama, matt and just everybody. In front of me Danni. & Rich who kept looking back. What cuties! That made the show, Oh and tori playing 'Take me with you', 'Pretty good Year' and 'Suede' wasn't bad either! ;o). So now that all my friends were around me and that I was happy time to talk about the show. Now, I was thinking it was going to be a fucking drag to stand for 2 hours, you know-me having heel spurs and all. But no way. I had no pain at all, infact I fucking loved standing, got more into it & tori absorbed all our engery. She loved the response & feedback from us all. It was obvious! Sooooooo on to the show & a pretty damn' good set list... (Lack of BFP songs, none at all actually-but a lot of Choir girls left their hotel to visit us tonight-and that's a good thing). So Pip comes out shaking her shit, starts in w/ 'Cruel'- loved the way she did it this night. 'Teenage Hustling' 'Heart of gold', & 'Waitress'. Then I had a feeling another doll was coming out. We all tried to guess. We knew once we saw the glasses it would be Sassy Santa. Out prances Santa in a white over coat, she turns her back to us, then takes it off, pours the drinks for the boys & breaks out one of my fav. from ADP 'Body & Soul', 'She's your Cocaine' (boy you don't need one of these to let me inside of you), 'You can bring your dog', (I am starting to like this song-slowly-parts of it at least-except for that god awful opening line-lame!), 'Swirl' (yes!), tori comes on, the usual songs-but then surprises me w/ one of my ALL time fav. 'Liquid diamonds'!!!!! -'cause there's a sea-secret in me and I shouldn't take it personally, I go inside a shell. I have willingly forgot her & am obsessed w/ molasses. Oh and bends in the road. So I was fucking happy as hell to her this girl! Then tori starts the intro to 'Take me with you' and I died! I was so in awe. I remember my mouth dropping open. You already know how I feel about this song, so... I just remember tori looking at me quite a lot during this song. Maybe she felt my energy! Who knows. It was a lovely tour moment and in such a small place. I was lucky to get it. Finally, something new on the set list. Shheeeeeesh! ;o)



It was nice vibes already, right? Right after she goes into 'Pretty good Year' & I was just cryin', as were some of my friends. But you know the whole routine, play it off like you're not. Haha. Tori looked @ me hardcore when she sang "pretty she can be". I don't care, no matter what, no matter where I am, no matter if I'm 300 years old this song will always touch me. ALWAYS. I'll never forget the rush, the breakdown, the feelings of, the emotions I never knew I had race thru me & gave me a long over-due cleansing of all sorts. You know like when you go to whole foods & eat lemongrass for a week, my body needed that, that song held the hand of the little girl inside me. She cradled me like a baby and god damn' it that's what I needed! Where ever you are Greg, thanks for writing that letter. WHAT'S IT GONNA TAKE RAVEN? Emotions are high, in a "oh the old tori's back" feeling- then here comes Pip again! Ya! To do 'Suede', fuck ya. I been wanting to hear this all tour, love the "oh little sister" part-for personal reasons. But she's one of my fav. (Personal sidenote: not getting into detail here: but me & tori discuss this song in '98 before it even came out). ::my bayou:: . So it holds a special place in my heart as does 'Orange Knickers' & 'Concertina' , not 'cause I just like 'em, but for the same reason as 'Suede'. I was happy-good show, great songs, took some nice photos, w/ friends. I was so busy talking to people. Suzanne! Hey baby! Long time no see-i love you! And Stu too! After the talking w/ peeps I went into the bathroom where the staff were so rude. Whateves! When I came out I was looking for my friends & Manuel (this is where it all goes bad! Kinda gross!) On my phone calling him to see where his ass went, and Jim & Shelia texting me the same time, wondering if I'm going to the dinner @ Denny's. At the time I didn't know where the Denny's was, if I would have known before hand that it was so close I would have just walked there & left his ass there. I don't mean to sound mean & I mean this guy use to be a good friend of mine-he's changed-he's not like the manuel I use to know. He is self-centered, selfish, bitchy, winey, annoying and VERY VERY STUBBORN. To a ponit I couldn't even recognize this person anymore. It made me sad & it pissed me off. On my way to find him, I'm on my phone & I was the last person out of the venue. Before I knew it a car pulls right up to me. It's angel & Jill. like they came out of nowhere. haha. Angel said "get over here raven and give me a kiss". They drive off just like they drove up, I didn't see where they went-just sorta disappeared. Maybe because I was focussed on kicking someone's ass. I was like getting the fucking run around to where he was- like in plain english mother fucker-WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? Simple as that! So, I see him over by the tour busses & leanging up on the barricades. I was thinking. Wtf? Poor soul doesn't know. I told him that Tori does not do after show meetngreets anymore. That she won't stop to come out to talk to people. I told him 3 times. He didn't believe me, like I was lying to him. No-it's just his fucking stubborn ways once again. He said " no I'm staying, I'm not moving" I told him again-"she's not coming out, plus she takes forever to come out & all my friends are waiting for me at Dennys, let's go manuel, come on". What really pissed me off is he just stood there starring at me, giving me this stubborn stupid look that I wanted to smack right off his face. Just smiling. He's so weird. Then I yelled " then come to the car w/ me, I wanna get my stuff out". He wouldn't budge. I said "I'm not kidding, I want my shit outta your car & I'll go w/ someone else". He wouldn't. He was keeping my stuff hostage & like I had to wait w/ him there until tori came out or whatever" yeah right fuck that! So I yelled at him, went off-made him so embarrassed that he would want to leave. He kept saying "I'm staying here" I said "we have to go meet my friends & she doesn't come out, I'm tellin' you"! It's like talking to a retarded child or something. What part of that do you not understand? So he was being the dick that he is. But he finally came away like after 10 minutes of bullshit. I'm thinking what a jerk & I gotta get rid of him. Ditch his ass. He ain't staying at my house. So, I hardly remember getting in the car 'cause I was so pissed. I get on the phone to call shelia to see where Dennys is at, as I'm talking to her I see the sign & wish I would have walked there & let his dumb ass wait out in the cold for nothing, just so tori could come out & wave and leave. But you knows things happen & I didn't know how close it was yadda yadda yadda. He's all in a bad mood (but when is he not?). We pull up, park & walk up and that's when I see Anthony. My god. Over 4 years since I see him. Drew's out front talking, everybody else inside waiting to be seated. I gave out some prints I made for people of the tour. He kept saying "I don't wanna be here, I wanna leave". What a fucking asshole. He kept repeating himself until I got so sick of hearing it I told my friends he wanted to go & got up. His anti-social, annoying weird ass. We were there for like 10 minutes. I was really tired too but I wanted to spend time w/ my friends. He kept saying he was tired-which was bullshit, he just was pissed off. What he doesn't like my friends or what? I would introduce him to everybody & he wouldn't even talk to them much. I'm talking way back in Santa Barbara. Weird, he was like a tired old man all the time & he's much younger than I am! So, I roll my eyes and sigh & friends look @ him like "whatever dude". We leave & drive home. I was pissed, but not so much 'cause I knew we'd have a big dinner the following night, it being the end of tour & all. So whatever. I try not to stay mad & just wanna go home & sleep. I was really irritated by how he was acting since he been here. We get to my place & I don't remember much about the night. I really don't. I remember him calling his boyfriend & saying gross things in spanish. Eewwwww! That's when knowing spanish comes in handy. He didn't think I knew. Haha. I went to bed late, I remember that. So....







05:00 pm: 12/14 -DAY OFF in my hometown...





12/14-
Don't remember much about what time I woke up. Manuel was already up & walking around & watching TV right where I was trying to sleep. Wtf? I told you I wanted to sleep in. People just don't get it do they? It was a day off, not like we had anywhere to be? We were gonna go run errands that I had to do, but nothing big. I got up, got ready. He kept bickering @ me to hurry up he was hungry. I was doing a few things around the house that needed to be done & here is this constant "hurry up, hurry up" doesn't help. Again annoying. So we go to TGIF's & get a bunch of different appetizers to share (what I calll "a picnic"). It was so yummy. We went to Rite aid after that, I had to get a few things. He wanted to go to Old Navy, so we did. I love Old Navy-I looked around & got arm loads of clothes to try on. Took 'em to the dressing room & just let you know I am fast, just like when I go groccery shopping. Have you ever seen 'Super Market Sweep'? Well, then you get the idea. So, I'm all rapido rapido & trying on pants, pj's, jackets-everything quickly. I'm finding a lot of shit I want & all happy. Putting everything I want in a pile & he shows up, rushing me when it was his idea to go there in the first place. Whateves! I remembered I had my camera in my purse & so I took some shots. Fun fun fun. I come out w/ my silver Pip jeans & manuel & the girl he made best friends with that worked there, said I had to get them. I came out there w/ loads of new clothes. He kept complaining about how cold he was. Complaining about this, complaing about that. I wanted to go to this little local record shop that sales vinyl. I was looking for a certain something that I had to get before the last 2 shows. We had to rush before they closed. I didn't find it, but we did have fun in there. I find a used ADP cd for $9.00 & for some reason I couldn't stop laughing. Then I held up my fav. BOYS FOR PELE! Always have been, always will be. One of the best albums ever made in the history of record making. :o) It doesn't get any better than BFP. At least we had fun in the record store. I remember being very tired that day. I think we both were. Don't remember much after the record store, I think we went to Borders. I told him that I was really tired & meant to rest on the day off from tour. That I was gonna run in real fast to look for the one thing I wanted. I really wanted to go home & rest. He wanted to come in & look around, which is fine-but he took forever, looking for x-mas gifts for his family. Then we went to Target- and I swear that's when I felt dizzy & wanted to really make this a quick thing. I was going in there to look for a couple things I needed. They didn't have. So we were supossed to meet @ a certain time @ a certain spot. He wasn't there & I took 20 minutes walking the intire store looking for him. Then he would keep disappearing. I was so pissed. We were in there for way too long. I found him again & he helped me look for some flats. Couldn't find any. We paid & left. It was late by the time we got out. I just remembered we stopped @ Longs before going to Borders. I was doing my thing & he was off being annoying. Sighing. Saying hurry up. He seemed bored everywhere, except target. He was acting so different from how I use to know him to act. I was beginning to think "oh great". "Ohh fun". So after target we went to a little cafe, I needed my coffee, he wanted something sweet. We go-eat-talk-take a few photos. Maybe this happened somewhere inbetween all the shopping. Maybe it's a day I don't wanna remember. Seriously, the mind works in mysterious ways sometimes. We get back home & took some photos in the house, just goofing round. Don't remember anything after that so... Guess we went to bed soon after? ...




04:58 pm: 12/13 -SANTA BARBARA ~MY PARASOL!








12/13-
So... I thought I'd be able to sleep in. Thought wrong... I got woken up early from a deep sleep. Kelly comes in asking joe where her car keys were & that she didn't remember if she drove there lastnight. Um, can you say scary? So, once I'm awake I'm awake & I can't go back to sleep! I was soo pissed. Got up & joe's mom made us coffee, SO NICE! We all were so lazy & tired. Me & joe went back & fourth if we were going to take a shower or not, or who will go first. Lol. So he does, 'cause I tell him I'm gonna take a long one. I am so glad I took one, I felt SO much better. I love those kind of bathrooms that have a big window you can open wide & get the cold brisk air in as you take a really hot shower. I did my hair & make up while listening to his mother sing word from word every Tori song that was pumping out of the "mixed tape" joe made his mom years ago to get her "into" tori! It was so kewl. It had me smiling in the mirror as I did my hair. It reminded me of all the mixed tapes I made for my dad & friends when I was turning them on to Tori. Fuck, one time I was getting into my G'ma's car & she was blasting 'Precious Things' from a bootleg I must've left in her car. LMAO!
So, I'm glad that I took my time w/ them. They are SO fun to be around. I started getting just a little bit worried about the time, just because I forgot it gets darker earlier now. So, we all take our bags & she takes Tyra barks w/ us. I LOVE that! Tori did say "you can bring your dog" Well, that's ezactly what we did! So, this next tour moment is brought to you by: raven, joe, joe's mama, tyra banks, soft fluffly blankets and the mighty breakfast burritto I couldn't put down. THIS IS ANOTHER FAV. TOUR MOMENT I'LL NEVER FORGET! So I pile in the back of this truck w/ white fluffy, seemed like goosedown comforter, blankets & pillows. Omg, this had to be the most fun & comfortable ride I ever took. Great company, great panoramic view, had my camera ready. Took some great shots! I couldn't believe how perfect these shots came out behind a window & speeding on the freeway? Love this camera! Joe kept going on & on about this breakfast burrito & I'm thinkin' yeah yeah. I'm very picky about food & don't like a lot of things. But I was remembering how one of my new year's resolution was to try new things. So I did. I trusted joe! So, he called in our order so we could just pick them up on the way. Joe & his mom had x-mas gifts & wanted to do a little x-mas get together w/ their family before we really headed out of town. So I'm so compfy & enjoying the view & I get to stretch my leggs out. We stop & joe runs in to get the burritos & a Dr. Pepper (of course). Omg, he opens the back of the truck and digs in this bag & out comes the biggest burrito I have ever seen! I am soooo glad I tried something new! I swear it was the best breakfast burrito I had ever sank my teeth into. I have thought about it a few times since being home & was continplating if I should drive all the way to San Deigo to get this burrito. It's that good. Next time I'm in SD for sure! I was having the time of my life back there. We stopped @ his family's for gift exchange, I didn't go in to give them privacy-plus I was making love to my burrito. I remember taking a picture of a school that was across the street, I liked the sound of the bell ringing and children coming out of school. All their little voices. I took the picture to remind me to have children some day. We took off for the freeway soon after. Taking piccys along the way-of clouds & palm trees and the car behind me so I can remember what a repore that dad had w/ his little girl in the backseat. He talked to her the intire way, looking back in his mirror as she laughed & giggled. What a good daddy I thought and hoped to have one of those one of these days. "Hang ten honey, I got to get me one of those". :o)
All the while texting friends like crazy! Trying to text, take photos, touch up make-up and catching the sun before it goes down-what a multi-tasker! I will never forget the texting back & fourth with Drew/Kayla. He said some of the most beautifulest things to me that day. Thanks for making it a memorable fun ride! xox. I even said to myself that I'd rather have this ride go on forever just like it was instead of going to the show. I was excited for all sorts of reasons. I LOVE Santa Barbara & the venue, seeing friends again, feeling like it was going to be a really good show and was to finally meet up w/ a good old friend that flew in from Costa Rica. I planned on meeting up w/ him in San Deigo, but that didn't work out & I'm glad it didn't. I had so much fun @ joe's mom's house & the drive up to Santa Barbara! I was just kinda mad @ myself, just a wee bit-because I thought it was a shame to show up so late when it was dark when Santa Barbara is such a lovely place. I would have loved to have walked around w/ friends & take photos around town. Made me feel better to know there wasn't a meetngreet. I knew we'd miss it anyhow. I wasn't expecting to make it. My bad. But there's always next time. And I had fun on the drive. I see all the lights & get all giddy. We drive around to look for parking. My window was open & It was funny, like everyone I saw walking on the sidewalk I knew. Haha. I saw Jesse & yelled for him. "It's raven, I'm in back of the truck" lol. He was looking around & spotted me & waved his arm in the air. We parked up the street from the venue. Pretty close! I hopped out & grabbed my purse and sweater & then saw Danni Rabbani walking across the street. I called him to come over, we walked down together, passing all the little snow/winter scenes and penguins. God, they really go all out on decorations here don't they? I realised just then I remembered the same decorations on a previous tori tour. Lol.
Gotta love it! I walked up & loved on some of my friends. Noelle pops up again. My OG's. Max, shelia, lisa, danni, karen, julienne, ran into Mike again (he might have had the license plate w/ him still-lol), Danny, Glo, my babies-Kate & Chris, just everybody, it was friends galore! I see my friend from Costa Rica Manuel standing in the doorway waving me down. Oh it was so good to see him I run in gave him loads of hugs & introduced him to all my friends. I haven't seen him for so long. The last time I saw him was when he came to visit me in Hollywood. Things between him & I that night @ the show was fun, were fine (until later-that's the "things are getting way beyond gross" part I was talking about). I even ran into a 'Sweet Fat Man'. :o) Steve is just that-SWEET! Talked to him in San Deigo & was it ever so nice to talk to him again & snap a quick photo just as the lights were blinking letting us all know "go, fucking run". Just kidding. Even tho I was late I ran into a lot of friends. So remember that other person I was dying to see besides Karen? Well, that was Katey! And where I walked in & sat she was walking up the isle and I said "hey" & put my leg out to trip her, just like I did to Mark (tori's husband). Heehee. It was soooo good to see her & catch up w/ how things were going in her life. She brought her boyfriend who she introduced me to by saying "I think he's the one". Hurrah! I think that's beautiful. So happy for her. I love that girl. As we were talking the lights were about to go out, or they did, don't recall? I had to move from my seat & saw a empty seat in front of Manual. Funny, of all places! Nice. So I have an isle seat in front of my friend. I wanted to get closer & remembered Danni telling me that he'd save me a seat. I told Manuel goodbye. So I looked to see where D. was sitting & spotted him "fighting" w/ a thick-necked jock jerk in front of him. Haha. Here I'm trying to get his attention & climb over laps to get to him & he's going off. LoL. Finally I call him & he gestured to "come on girl", so I went. Glad I did, I had the most fun sitting w/ Danni Rabbani. Him & Joe (note to self-remember this). Danni's all into taking video & pictures like I am, so we had fun together doing that. I have to admit something-i really didn't 'try' hard to get good shots this tour/just sorta did it in a relaxed way. For several reasons. Anywho, we had a lot of fun! This dude, this asshole/weirdo sitting in front of us-when ever I was taking good video of tori he would lean over & pick his butt getting his big fat head in the way! I was so pissed. I told him to go home & take a nap, because besides him picking his butt he didn't move at all. Like a statue, like he didn't want to be there. I got only a handful of pics. I deleted some video 'cause his fat fucking head in the way. Bastard! I got a improv & a fuck up. And a few other things. I would have gotten 'Parasol' if I wasn't freaking out so much! Ohhh I love this song. I asked her to do it. That's where I got my myspace URL from/part tori-part fiona: MySeaViewOhWell.
I never dreamed that it would be Danni I'd be sitting next to, having so much fun @ a concert with! I'm so glad he came up to me in San Deigo after all. It reminds me of how much fun he can be! The Show- (who doesn't love The Arlington Theatre?) We got Clyde e poo again. I didn't mind. I like her songs. (Danni told me on New Year's eve about her dress, he's all wtf was up w/ the puffy thing on the bottom. Haha. Weird thing is I don't even remember what Clyde was wearing). We got the Clyde songs-(I must tell you this-I really wasn't that familiar w/ 'Beauty of Speed', didn't even know what it was about, I always fast forward that song-it took hearing it live on the Arizona bootleg on headphones, randomly, while making eggs for breakfast just this morning--3 weeks after tour. wow.) Me & Danni were just snapping away and after 'Big Wheel' she starts playing a few notes. Now, this I don't get: 'Parasol' being one of my most fav. song in the world. Why in the hell didn't I know what it was? She did like a different little intro & danni knew before I did. We look @ each other trying to figure out what it was. He's all "it's parasol, it's parasol".



I didn't believe him @ first. Then I heard it & I swear my heart went into my stomach. It's sad tho because I hardly remember anything about it because I was so shocked & freaking out. A silent freaking out inside you know the kind well. We all have had this storm of different emotions swirling inside us when she plays our fav. song. After she was done, I just stood up in a sea of people that were sitting down. I was not that far away & in the very center. She turned right in the middle, like she was gonna play both keyboard & piano. I stood up and pointed at her, she looked up & out right at me. I did the 'my fingers to my eyes, to hers', you know the we're on the same page/telepathy thing going on there. (Hard to explain). But we had a little moment. So glad she played this! "When I come to terms"...this is similar to a poem I wrote years ago. Fucking amazing! Ok, then she starts in w/ 'Spark' another fav. We just look @ each other w/ open mouths. Haha. Then few song later 'Black dove (january) "I never let on how insane it was in that tiny kinda scary house by the woods". Seriously. Where was this song when I needed it? Then 'Alamo' & 'Toast', 'Past the mission' w/ 'Talula' following. Back to back. The funny thing was, I lost my shoe during the Code Red rush. I think someone stepped on it, I don't know, it happened so fast, all I remember is seeing my shoe flying high in the air. Haha. I didn't care to look for it until after the show, even tho they were new shoes! Haha. I Iooked back real quick & saw a herd of crazy tori zombees, so I said forget it! It felt funny standing there w/ only one shoe on & uneven, but that's rock'n'roll baby! Lol-i'm just kidding. Another highlight for me-when tori got to the part of 'Tear in your hand' where she says "maybe it's time to wave goodbye now" I yelled "don't even think about" and she looked up & gave me that ear to ear smile/grin we all love. Again, I just wish she wasn't so tired and for the most part she was w/out passion. I understand she was tired by the time she got to us, she should start over here on the West Coast first for a change. The show was pretty good tho. I had a great time w/ friends in a great venue & city. After the show I went to go bullshit w/ the lighting tech. I retouched my make up while tori's hubby looked at me like I was crazy. Just kidding. I talk to him every now & then. I use to more often, but he's much more disconnected now, kinda like his wife. It is what it is. So I had a good night. The funny thing is, I think my timing is off because that night I wanted to stay outside the venue & talk. Seems like EVERYBODY cleared out from there FAST. It was eerie looking at the empty venue. The nights I'm sooo tired & just wanna sleep seems like some peeps wanna go out to eat at resturants & stuff. So joe, his mom, manuel & I walk to the truck to get my suitcases out & put them in our rental car that manuel got us. Piled in the bags. Got in, put the heater on & took for the freeway. As we passed the venue, being the last people there, it was so empty, eerie & sad. Manuel kept insisting on putting the GPS thingy on, even to this is my hometown & I live 40 minutes away. He wouldn't listen or trust me & it was annoying. He is from Costa Rica so he was very cold all the time. ALL THE TIME. So he blasted the heater & I was like dying after awhile. The lovely thing-I saw 3 shooting stars on the way home. I was on the phone w/ Shelia when I saw the first one & told her. It's been a long time since I saw one! Made a few wishes! I was hungry & wanted to stop somewhere quick. Not much was open. He wasn't hungry & he really didn't wanna stop anywhere. There's a Denny's right by my house, so I had him stop there, I just wanted a bowl of Frosted Flakes. As we pull up I remember saying "wouldn't it be funny if we bumped into some tori peeps in here?" He hardly replies & was just moody the whole time. I was tired too, but shit chill out. So, we go in & I see of all peeps my girl Rachel & her friends. I been hangin' w/ her all the shows since Oregon. Haha. So cool. So she came over & sat for a few & we snapped our latenight photo. Love that girl. She's so down to earth. Manuel unimpressed w/ everything sits there all smug. They didn't have frosted flakes those assholes, so I got moons over my hammy. It's so huge I left half of it. He wasn't hungry. We take off, go home & he takes forever to get his stuff out of the car & by this point I am freezing & exhausted. I don't understand why because he only had a tiny suitcase? So we get in, get ready for bed, and this is my first time being home w/ my bags. Being the neat freak that I am, I wanted to unpack everything & put them in their proper places, but I was simply too tired to do so. I let him have the big bed while I slept on the couch. He closed the door & went to bed, while I stayed & starred @ my suitcases & spent some quality one on one time w/ my fish that I haven't seen for nearly 2 weeks. My little underwater creatures were glad to see mommy's face up to the glass again. I would have had everybody stay @ my place if I had more room. Plus there was a certain someone that I didn't want tagging along & staying w/ me. Oh hell no. Plus travelling w/ a bunch of people I needed it to be calm & quiet. So... Off to beddy bye & of course I'm always the last one to shut they eye.


04:56 pm: 12/12 -LEAVING ARIZONA FOR SAN DEIGO/SAN DEIGO SHOW



12/12-
So we get up way too early, but samantha wanted/needed to talk to tori about getting an interview for her docramentry. Even tho people move once you have spoken w/ tori , so others behind you move up, I totally understand the urgency. She just wanted to make sure. I knew they probably wouldn't stop to eat or get coffee so I was smart & on my way out I saw a fruit bowl & grabbed a bananna & green apple. Good thing I did. I ended up eating the bananna & that apple, haha, well it ended up keeping me company on the rest of the trip & I ended up eating it @ home (for the Ritz Carlton that was a gross apple). I was tired the intire way. I didn't even bother doing my hair or make up. I tried to sleep but couldn't. I dozed off for like 20 mintues (that was weird-you know I'm really tired if that happens). So, I'm like all delirious. I was texting friends back & fourth almost the whole way. The drive was nice if I wasn't so tired. I love being on the road. We, at some point stopped to get gas & sam & jim said they were going to get their food & Del Taco, so I stayed in the car, there was no reason for me to get out because del taco had a drive-thru. But jim & sam came back w/ their food from Carl's Jr. So, I ended up having to get out of the car when we drove across to del taco instead of going thru the drive-thru & I tell ya, I have never been that tired & achey in my life-so any small move felt like a huge one. I get out of the car all pissed off & nobody seems to understand why. Ummmm ok... I come back w/ my crappy fast food, knowing that they were most likely talking shit. Who cares? On we go to San Deigo. We seemed to have took the longer way. So jim gets on the right track & finally we get there. One of my fav. venues I had to smile when we drive up to it. Copley sweetheart, oh how I missed you darling. We park on that crazy hill & I got out & got my make up bag & for any other reason than insanity or sleep deprivation, I chose the ugliest fucking blouse/dress top thingy over the few outfits I brought up w/ me to the fancy bathroom in that hotel next to the venue. What the hell was I even thinking bringing that ugly thing w/ me on the trip anyhow. I will never live this down. So mad at myself. Here I wanted to wear my black top & hair down. But instead this crap & hair up in a bun! I couldn't wear the same outfit as the day before in Arizona... So...
I get ready in the bathroom and was surprised how decent I looked for getting only 2 hrs. of sleep! I then come down to the doorman & asked him where I could get some coffee & something healthy to eat. He points me the way and I go walkin'. I find a starbucks on the corner & get my frapp. on. I then see a little organic place across the street, so after putting Equal in my coffee (sorry lisa-you're right, I been thinkin' I should change to Splenda!) I walk across the street and to my dismay I see someone I thought I would never see again. And what the hell was he doing in San deigo, in that resturant I was walking past and at that same time! Fucking nuts. 'Would have guessed anyone but you'. It was already too late to turn around, I don't think he saw me anyways. I'm thinkin'? It was Ricky!!! (Little Ricky)-now if any of you know the situation, as I think few know, it was a 'OMG, I can't believe this' moment. It was icky for me & very uncomfortable. He was eating lunch w/ his mother. Anyhow, I said 'what luck'. I go get my sesame bagel & on the way out I have to pass him again, I turned my head & put on my sunglasses. Haha. All traumatized I show up to where my friends & others were waiting for the meetngreet. Lisa, Sam, jim, ursula, char & others. I take a few piccys & chit chat. After a good while I stand up & kelly does w/ me. Again, I didn't see tori come out, all I hear is the collective quiet 'ohhhhhh's'. Haha. So I had asked my friends to take piccys while were talkin', visa versa. So I let everyone go first, I mean ursula & char were there first and sam. But I let the others go before me. I take piccys of char & tori talking, then ursula, then sam, then jim, then kelly. I Just kept snapping away. Then tori gets to me & we're talking. I told tori that: 'I have so much to say that when I see you I end up saying nothing at all'. Haha. She laughed, took my hand & said 'I know, but I can see it in your eyes'. I go 'what' because something fell beside me & we both look down. She repeated herself. I go 'oh' like unamused (I swear it is funny when ever I think about it, but I think I was just not clear-headed from lack of sleep). Then we talked some more (not tellin') & I asked her a question & she didn't seem to know what I was talking about, but I realise now that I didn't explain to well (tired). But I know she would have if I would have gaven her more detail. She just kept looking at my funny lip-shape. I remember her really focusing on my lips & face. She's so funny. It was that 'oh I'm being timed again, hurry up & talk' feeling again. Damn' me. Damn' time. My hand was even doing that 'hurry up motion'. My god. She knows tho I feel that way, that a lot of people feel that way. She must. Hopefully. Then I thanked her for playing 'The Beekeeper' for my G'pa that died not long before tour. And omg, right now while writing this I realise we talked little after that, but I have no idea, I don't remember. How sad is that? Anyhow this time I wanted to take our picture myself, so I did. I don't like it. I hate what were both wearing. I look like I'm wearing something out of 'little house on the Prairie' and tori, that scarf is god awful. I'm sorry. I remember thinking that when she came out. Haha. We have almost the same boots tho. Lol. I was hoping she'd come out w/out that wig on.
I wanna shoot that thing off her head! It's fine on stage, but I love tori's hair! Another thing- I wasn't wearing that much make up (as you can see in every piccy before & after) but the lighting/the way we were facing. I look like I'm wearing dark lipstick when I'm not, it looks nothing remotely close to the colour. My hair looks lame -and did I mention my ugly blouse? Yeah, I'm an ant-fucker/perfectionist too. Whatever- do you know how many photos I have w/ tori over the years that will never see the light of day? A lot. Oh well. It is what it is.
At least I don't have a burger on my nose or a black-eye. After I stepped away I was pissed no one took piccys like they said they would. Luckily Jen was at my right side & took a couple (that I totally forgot about 'til she sent them to me around new years eve via myspace). Ohhh Jen saves the day! Thank you sweetie. Muuuaaah. I just sent you a kiss. After the meetngreet a bunch of us went walking to find somehwere to eat. After what felt like walking a mile we found a woodstove pizza place. We got a big long table & I had the privlegde of sitting between Rich & Ursula. Rich is such a big teddy bear of a sweetheart! It was so good seeing him again. I always get good vibes off this fella. ;o). I ordered the same pizza I always order- tomato/basil/add pineapple. Yum yum. We were there for a long while. I was sullen. Didn't like how the meetngreet went down. But kept it to myself. Nobody understands anyhow. So what's the point? We walked back together, but I went on my own to the ATM & got some money out. I walked back alone, just looking for the hill so I won't get lost. It was dark. I see the big window where the box office is! Hurrah! So I walk in there 'cause it was colder then a mother fucker that night. I walk in knowing I'd instantly see peeps I know. And sure enough. I sit down & start chatting. Then I see my babydoll Jessie! I get all excited & yell 'jessie!' He was over looking the Christmas tree. Haha. So he looked up, smiled & came over for some huggles. I absolutely loved his Jimi Hendrix sweatshirt! It was good seeing him again & catching up. We hung out. Then I saw Noelle! Omg! She always sneaks in. I don't see her for 2 years, but ALWAYS run into her on tour. Never a doubt in my mind I wouldn't. This is another thing about tori shows I love. I was sitting there talking to them & I saw ...ok, I'm gonna skip this part/not for all eyes. Noelle gives me her extra tix. Thanx babe! So, I get up & mingle. I get so excited when I see my Karen (out of all the people I wanted to see the most, katey, jess & karen). I must've squealled. Gave her a big extra lonnng hug. Danni actually came up to me & said 'hi raven' & planted a tight hug on me. Wow. That was nice. We haven't talked since our 'beef' on Scarlet'ks Walk tour. We acted like nothing ever happened & just picked up where we left off (before the beef, that is-LOL) we ran around like little bitches taking photos. He kept video recording me-which I didn't realise 'till little later. Haha. *some are in my video section*
They look darker on myspace, not sure why?
All these happenings with only 2 1/2 hrs. sleep mind you! The human body amazes me sometimes. -So the ticket games start & smitty comes out holding the tickets hostage. The usual. The 'regulars' surround him. Some demanding, More then others. I know he was told to give tix to certain people. Which I find totally bazzar & disgusting, but whatever. Hopefully a certain somebody sees the light. Anyhow, so everybody is out there. All I do is stand out there & make myself seen-if he wants to give me a tix he will, if not-fine, but I am not kissing anyone's ass or pretend to be somebody's 'best buddy' to get tix. Hell no. Sale your soul. Not I ! It's such a pathetic & bazzar thing to watch & witness. Ok.. So the same people get the same seats as they do every single night on the tour. I don't care what 'favor' was done or whatever, it's just all so lame. New people will never get that chance to experience tori upclose because of these free-loading hogs. I can just hear the conversation now 'oh tori it would be a big relief off our shoulders if we could get free tix everynight so we can afford to do the whole intire tour'. You know because we are 'bigger fans' & love you more than the people that just do a few shows' fuck you. Selfish & greed. What lovely traits to have. So, even tho they all get front row they still argue amongst each other about who sits in what seat. It is quite amusing to watch. A certain one always has to stand up & do 'roll call' & 'organise', I think we all know who I'm talking about. It's so weird. After a while we all go in, everybody takes their seats. I sit in an empty seat. It was an 'alright' seat. I had better, I had worse. Lisa was right behind me. My friends-joe & his mother sat near me, but moved or was moved. I saw where Danni was sitting. Noelle was in the row behind me. I saw Max & his man down the row infront of me. So I was surrounded. I saw Jim later & he seemed like he hated where he was sitting. So, I took some photos & by looking @ them now, I am amaze by this little camera. How good the photos came out from me being pretty far back. I got better photos of course after the rush, I remember I was on a chair, bending on my knees. Haha...
The show- Well, it was alright, yeah we got 2 dolls which was cool.


Yeah tori flew off her piano bench & went straight to the end of the stage to kick out 2 girls who were being rude. 'Get the fuck out of my show' 'is she with you, she can go too'. But the setlist made me want to pull my hair out. Same songs, nothing exciting to report EXCEPT for 'Twinkle' (one of my all time fav.) It was nice to hear 'Doughnut Song' & 'Space Dog' again. Same Santa set. Same Izzy set. At least she finally really talked to the auddience (those 2 chicks she kicked out). I was disappointed the show wasn't better, Copley being one of my fav. places to see her and all. Oh well. By the time she got to us on the West Coast she was tired. After the show I went back & talked to the the lighting tech. Off we all went into the lobby, I met up w/ friends I had plans with. We were all spending the night at Joe's Mom's house, cool she lives in san Deigo. Some of us were tired (me, lisa & ursula) & some wanted to go to a local bar. So, we all walk to Jim's car got our bags out. Joe's friend took it upon herself to roll my suitcase herself. She rocks! So, we all walk to Joe's mom's truck-ursula got in the front & me & lisa laid down in the back. The others took off to the bar. I had to pee so bad, been holding it since the show & I think lisa fell asleep. Wow. Lucky girl. Wish I could do that! We finally get to her house & I LOVE IT! Such a 'family atmosphere'. All the Christmas stuff up & out. The tree and all the cute little things she put out. Their dog is soooo cute (I think her name was tyra barks-haha I kid you not unless I was really out of it, at that point it had been over 24 hrs. since I got some sleep). * I really got to say something here-if you came up to me & I didn't seem like myself or that I wasn't there, wasn't listening, I was. I was just so tired. Please take that into consideration. I love you. * Joe's Mom is the coolest mom ever, made me long for a mother. I saw how close & connected they were & it was absolutely beautiful! I loved being around that. I loved how all of Joe's artwork & paintings were up all over her apartment walls. I took pictures of them. Joe is very talented. He also published his poetry book. She had cute little cheese ball thingys out w/ little snowmen. I just HAD to take a photo! Haha. Her, ursula & I had such fun that night! Making little finger sandwitches, yum yum, artichoke dip & carrots, bottled water & cheese while lisa was in the shower. I was gonna take one after, but I was simply too tired. Ursula fell asleep soon after & lisa came out, got on the other couch & fell asleep. I talked a little more w/ joe's mom & then got ready for bed, took my suitcases in the room & laid down & looked @ my camera & ate my Sprees (which I lost under the covers 'cause I passed out, good thing I found them the next morning @ the last minute) until I fell asleep.... (That bed was very comfortable). I pulled out the bed underneath so joe can sleep there when he came in. So he did later on when he remembered there was a pull out bed. Haha. I slept @ Joe's house so I can sleep in. The others were taking off early for Santa Barbara while me, joe & his mom sleep in, take our time & get there when we get there. Off to sleep w/ Spree dancin' in my head.






04:53 pm: 12/10 - LEAVING OAKLAND FOR ARIZONA & ARIZONA SHOW






12/10-
So I took a goodbye photo by that venus poster before we left. Goodbye in all kinds of ways. Yeah. Yes.
We took to the road, we were going to drive to LA, stay the night then leave early in the morning. I wanted to drive straight to Arizona that day and get a hotel by the venue. So when we stopped to get a coffee @ last minute jim's all 'why don't we just go today'. -um, heeeelllllo, I been sayin' that the whole time. So we go for it & it turned out to be another ONE OF MY FAV. tour MEMORIES. Just me, jim and lisa on this beautiful back road and THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I HEARD 'TAKE ME WITH YOU' and I can not describe how it felt. It was a perfect song for this drive. Beautiful day, weather, big blue sky and trees, 2 of my fav. people in the car w/ me and hearing a new tori song for the first time (well, new to me). and why is it new for me-well, several reasons. But I think I heard it once about a year ago, faintly & I was house cleaning. So, I really hardly remembered it. I remember the piano intro tho. I am in love with this song & can't get enough of it. It sends me to another place. Peaceful & calm-not the fast-paced place I'm at now. But, 'bare feet running with you' -that's me. 'Chase rabbits into their burrows' -'Somewhere the rainbow ends my dear' oohhh god, do I love that. 'Take me with you' - my new found obsession. What a gem tori & just think it almost didn't happen. Thanks Mark & Marcel ;o)....And just think I got to see tori perform it in Anaheim, perfect eye shot, I finally got those chills I use to get at past tori shows. And they were back full force. She made such an endearing look when she sang certain parts of the song. She looked out and at me and I couldn't even see her wig anymore, it was just that thin beautiful tori hair we all love and I could even see that old tori for a second. It was wonderful. it was surreal. Oh shit sorry-back to the drive. Haha.
It was lovely, relaxing and didn't take us long to get to the San Franando Valley to pick up Sammy j on the way. We stopped @ Borders on the way 'cause Jim wanted to get something. We spent waaay too long in there & me & lisa couldn't find Jim. Heemm, wonder where he took off to? I went upstairs to the bathroom, when I come out to wash my hands there's this easter basket full of tampons on the counter and I have never seen it like this before. I had to take a couple photos w/ it. Haha. Then we get to Sammy's house & she throws her bags in the trunk & then she walks me back into her house to go to the bathroom. It was nice seeing her mom there and her dog again. We pull out of her driveway @ around 8:00. On our way to Arizona we had fun, even tho I was very very tired & my leggs were penned up against the seat (note: never sit behind Jim w/ his daddy long leggs!). I had hardly no room. We listen to loads of cd's & talked. I mostly looked out the window at the stars. I was so tired but couldn't sleep. It's really hard for a person w/ major sleeping disorders to travel. Most people don't understand it and it's beyond frustrating. So we get to Arizona...

**





12/11-
We get to Arizona at like 2 in the morning I think it was. We checked into a sorta dive hotel, but it was alright, it was in walking distance to the venue. So we all bring our bags up, get ready for bed & as I'm recharging my phone I say ' I'm afraid to recharge my phone a rat might chew thru the cord'. Hahaha. I have to laugh everytime I think of it. So, again Lisa is the best bed mate, she doesn't take up much room & hardly moves! Grrrreat! So we get up way too early if you ask me, but this stupid 'check out' thing & having to eat & get ready. There was nothing else around to eat but McDonald's & I hate McDonalds! I laid in bed while lisa & sam got ready, then I got up & walked to Mickey D's & had the grossest chicken sandwitch I ever had. As I was walking in sam was walking out. After forcing myself to eat I walk back to the hotel & some guys that work there looked like they were at our door, as in already cleaning and I'm wondering where my suitcases ended up! So, I yelled up 'wait, wait, wait' and the guy gets all jacked up and gets an additude w/ me, so I get one back & go upstairs to where they are he's all 'I work here & I'm not @ your room' some bullshit like that? I'm thinking Dude calm the fuck down, all I said was 'wait'. He ended up kissing my ass in the end anyways. 'Sorry I yelled at you, you have a good day'. When I walked in the room I was so happy to see jim still in there, on the lap top & phone stressing on some tickets. My stuff was still there & I was so happy w/ myself that I got ready in like 20 minutes, that includes make-up, hair & packing. Ironiclly my hair & make up turned out the best. It's crazy. So, we get the call 'to leave'. Me & jim get our bags & drive down the street to the venue, where lisa & samantha are. Waiting to see if there will be a meetngreet. The day was beautiful. I get out of the car & take some pictures. I go up to where sam & lisa & a few other peeps are. I put my soda down & take a walk around the venue by myself. I need a lot of alone time. So I take more photos and a few of the venue marquee.
Lisa found me & we were gonna go to Starbucks, but she said it was far & I decided to stay & take few more photos & check the box office. Clouds started rolling in. I walked all the way around the building to where sam & the others were. Took more photos w/ friends & we all had fun talking. Somewhere along the line Ursula, Joe & Char showed up to the party in the rain. Some peeps were smart & brought umbrellas! Lisa & I walked to the Starbucks 'cause I needed coffee & I couldn't hold it anymore. I was so happy to be wearing my moccasins, I love them! I've got to wear them more often. Their really cute. It started raining hard, good thing we were back under the umbrellas by then. We waited & waited & tori finally came & popped out of a SUV & didn't even stop to say hi to us, she just gave us the little finger wave, like toodle-loo & in she went. Smitty did come out like maybe a half-hour before that to tell us it wasn't happening. For some weird reason, we didn't believe it & stayed anyways. It's so fucked because I was wearing the outfit I wanted to wear in 'the' photo w/ tori, of course I couldn't wear the same thing next day, so I ended up wearing a ugly blouse in the photo w/ tori the next day. Plus my hair was having a very good day. So, I was pissed, but use to it, so I shrugged my shoulders & we went back to the car to look for a resturant to gather & eat. We found a place, it was nice & fancy, they had Dr. Pepper, but I wasn't so fond of the food. Whatever. What are you gonna do? The guy that owned & worked the place was really super nice. I was irratated w/ people by this point & the way they were acting & their little comments. So, I still don't have a ticket & was going to go walk to the box office in the rain since people weren't ready to drive there yet. I went to the backroom & was taking quite a while fixing & braiding my hair. I come back out & sit @ the table, hoping they wanna drive. So, lisa calls me from the box office (well, really from Starbucks, she had already got her tix, then walked to starbucks & called me). She says 'get your ass to the box office NOW, they have 5th row!' So I freak out inside, but remain calm on the out & just right @ the perfect time jim & sam wanna go. So we get there, at a stoplight I tell them to let me out here, I had no time to look for parking. I go up to the box office & I couldn't believe it, they had sucky sucky tix. I was so pissed 'cause I sat there thinking to myself now if that was me I would have bought one for my friend & myself & let her reinburst me when she got there. There were other little things going on that was ticking me off. But by this time I was so tired of people 'just looking out for themselves' and 'every man for himself' mentality. So, I said to myself right then & there- 'fuck it I'll do the same. Why should I care if they don't?' So, I think I called her & told her the good tix were long gone by the time she called me. Blah blah blah. I told her I would have bought her one if I were in her shoes, guess she didn't like that. It was cold out & raining & was not in the mood to stand outside on my phone and argue. So I hung up, I remembered her getting so mad @ me for hanging up on her, she comes around the corner few minutes later while I was on the phone w/ a friend. She yells @ me that I was so rude for hanging up on her. I yell at her that she's the rude one. Wtf? Oh but it wasn't rude what she did, of course not. After a while it didn't seem to be a big deal to me, I thought whatever-and it wasn't her job to get me tickets anyways...I just thought it would have been nice you know...just sayin'...but whatever, so I chilled. Until later I see her go up to Jim infront of one of my old friends & she's like all talkin' shit. I was outside for a bit until someone gave me their tix, I been inside for awhile hugging friends I haven't seen for years. I missed these people. I'm looking around & that's when I see her. I was pissed yeah, but just let it slide off my back. If I really wanted to I could have gone over there, but I was sick of all the drama. I let things go sometimes...but I don't forget. Like that little comment she made @ the resturant earlier: 'Raven why are you so quiet? You are usually talking.... A LOT'. The way she said it was so condescending. I said 'It's better than being a mute like you'. 'You're a mute and when you do finally say something, what comes out of your mouth is ugly'. I don't think she heard me. This is why I like to go alone & do everything alone. So I just laugh it off & walk around w/ some friends. At times I really love & adore being on the road & doing these shows, but other times I can't wait to get the fuck home. Then when I get home I miss the road. Good thing I'm going to be doing a lot of travelling this year. So I go off to be a loner & talk on the phone w/ a friend. So I seperate myself from everybody, I'm on the phone in my little world & that's when Smitty comes up & gives me a tix. That seems to be when I get tix, is when I'm alone. It was so funny how it happened, like no words were exchanged, we just nodded at each other 'cause I was on the phone. But I told my friend to hang on & said 'Thanks Smitty' as he was walking away. So, a good front row center seat & didn't even ask. I got front row my very first night on tour from Smitty & 2nd night 'cause of my friend Joe giving me his tix. They were both corner seats tho. but what I like about those seats you can take photos, I wouldn't really take photos front row center, to distracting to tori & the people around me. If I had to choose where I wanted front row (besides Portland & Seattle) it would have been here and/or San Deigo ('cause that's one of my fav. venues, Copley has fond memories for me). Santa barbara would have been nice too 'cause she did my 'Parasol' & 'Alamo' and fuck I love 'Toast'. Don't care much about having front row in Oakland or the LA shows. It was perfect where I was at The Grove in Anaheim. That last show in LA had to be one of the worst shows I ever seen. Ok-Rammbling. So, I was happy enough. I remember seeing Tori here before years ago and I had front row that night too. Funny. So, I guess Smitty made the rounds to find my friends, they were standing together. What I think is that tori must have felt bad about not having time to do the meetngreet & told smitty to try & remember the faces that were up front. Because everybody that was @ that meetngreet upfront got front row. Rightfully so. We were all soak & wett earlier. Me Still on the phone, Char said 'raven, I'm sorry man, you missed it, smitty just did the rounds'. I say 'what'? Then hold up my ticket. So, I take my time & walk around, go to the bathroom, I love their mirrors! I walk in & just go to my seat. I loved to see my friends up there for a change. But what is weird is that everything always moves so fast. So, this front row was the kind devided in the middle, not all one long row. Which I like. Friends can come down & dance w/ me :o) I sat next to Nina, which was nice. She's quiet & still, but at least she doesn't keep getting up to get drinks, a obnoxious drunk that spills her drink on your feet, takes a million flash photos & ruins your front row experience. Who's does that? Totally drunk in the front row. Sad. And oblivious to anyone around her. More sad.
The show-



We got Clyde back to back. She was Clyde the night before in Oakland. Fine w/ me because I already seen Isabel, Pip & Tori front row. So now it's Clyde's turn. Clyde came out w/ her hot pink scarf and did her thing. 'Juarez', 'lil Amsterdam' & 'Upside down' are always nice to hear. Tori comes out and I was pleased to hear 'Sweet Sangria', 'Space Dog'-(one of my 'ole time fav. I swear, 'Space Dog' has that same relationship to 'Cloud on my tongue' that 'Baker Baker' has with 'Pretty Good year'. They go together. Soulmates. They found each other from across the galaxy, into tori's heart & head & out her mouth. And we were blissed with it). Fuck tori, what would I do w/out that song? You tell me! I LOVED to hear 'Cornflake Girl' because I rarely get to hear that song. Haha. Just kidding. 'Purple People'. Amazing. 'Black Swan', love this girl, this was the song I wanted played @ my funeral. 'Do you know where she's gone'? ...
'Northern Lad' another fav., 'Father Lucifer'- fuck yeah back to back. I been listening to this bootleg-just 'Father Lucifer' over & over again. That song moves me. When she started playin' this, I was all 'yes tori, yes.' She saw me get all into it. I even did my hand in the air like I was in church or something' haha. Whoops! 'The Beekeeper' was nice to hear again, I can never get sick of this song. Ever. And shame on anybody who doesn't like this song. Even tho. I had front row & she played a few fav. I still wasn't feelin' it like I use to. She seemed to have no energy or passion. The most fun I had was dancing w/ friends during 'Professional Widow'. Joe came from his 2nd row seat to come visit me, sam & ursula, just everyone was dancing. I took a photo of Tori's piano when she left stage. I love how it turned out w/ the lighting behind it, nice & eerie. Some girl wanted to dance w/ me & kept twirling me around over & over & over again. Haha. She was so cute! Thanx-it was fun! But yeah, I can hardly remember the show and that makes me sad. Just a blur. I go up & talk to my friend that does the lights, he gave me the set list. We talked for awhile. Jason & Ross came up to me to say 'hi'. Whew! I was talking w/ friends then out to the lobby we all go. It was so good to be back in Arizona and to see old friends. I took a piccy w/ Iggy Pop, yeah can you believe it his poster was there for the show. Ha! Gotcha! I love Iggy Pop. So we all crowded outside & chewed our free gum that they gave out after the show. Haha. Smitty was out there chewing gum as well. Then Kate & Chris wanted me to go w/ them to their hotel. Jim & the rest is who I was w/. Tug of war. So, I just stayed w/ Jim & the others @ the hotel that Ursula invited me to stay @ way back in Seattle. So yeah. No way am I going to be pushed out just because somebody wasn't 'getting along' w/ me. I've know ursula, jim and sam forever. So, that was pretty lame. I was the one who arranged the rides/place to stay in the first place. We take off to the hotel, ursula was already there w/ joe. Even tho we were staying at The Ritz jim parked the car across the street for some reason? So we ended up climbiing over a wett cement wall w/ our luggage. Heavy luggage. The wall wasn't that high at all, but still it was wett & like midnight. So we go in, as soon as we step foot in the door we were greeted. The place was like a winter wonderland, all christmasy. The nutcracker guy was almost as tall as me. A huge gingerbread house, a tree as tall as the ceiling & lights everywhere. I'm talkin' lights galore. It made me all fuzzy inside. Haha. The room was gorge. I wanted the extra bed because I didn't wanna sleep w/ anybody. The fucker was big. The bed was so comfy! We were all hungry so we got room service, but downstairs since we were the only ones awake in the hotel? We had to call the kitchen? Don't know what was up w/ that? Some went to the bar before we ate. Nice bar. Nice paintings hanging throughout the hotel. Joe had to leave for the Greyhound station @ 1am, to catch the bus to San Deigo. Poor Joe! We kept texing each other. We did that. Our midnight talks/texts. I miss those! So, we went into the next room & that's where we ordered the food, I went back upstairs for something & by the time I came back down the food still wasn't there. It came little later. We all ate, chatted & laughed. That was the best grilled cheese sandwitch I ever had in my life, I kid you not! So after a while we head up for the room, when I looked up at these 7 foot tall dudes, which I assume were basetball players. I hate sports w/ a passion (except for rugby & playing tennis) but ursula knew who they were. I think she said Utah Jazz. She started talking to them. It was funny to be in an elevator w/ such giants! Haha. They were all upset because they lost. So, we get to the room & put our pj's on. Nighty night we go. I couldn't fall asleep right away like everybody else did. Even tho I was exhausted & every other part of my body was saying 'excuse me brain, can you turn that big wheel off we want to fucking go to bed?'. Sleep you know? I finally fell asleep @ like 3am... Knowing we had to wake up @ 5:00/5:30am...wasn't so purdy.
*BY THE WAY~ I think the whole tix thing was blown out of proportion and I love Lisa to death. We talk & text like old blanket friends ;o)*







04:48 pm: 12/09 - 3rd OAKLAND SHOW





12/09-
Next morning up and going. I felt sorrow, like a 15 year old relationship had come to an end. Tori was more to me than just 'some woman up there on stage playing music' I think you all know what I'm talking about. So, I had decided that this was the last Tori tour I would do & that something had just died. It's not there anymore. I took a few pictures to document this moment & it was perfect 'cause Jim had a 'to venus & back' poster on the wall, sitting there lonely w/ nothing around it in the extra bedroom I was staying in. I'm glad I took these photos, but when I look @ them I get sad. I think Lisa left around noon to go visit her G'ma. So it was just me & Jim. On the way to the venue he turned me on to some new cd's/artists. I was really digging this music & the vibe it gave out. Thanks Jim honey, you can burn me that cd anytime you'd like. ;o). Me & Jim went to this vegetarian resturant & waited for Ursula, Joe, Lisa (bootleg lisa), Shelia and Carl to join us. We had fun talkin, taking pictures & I really was obsessed w/ their beautiful bathroom. Afterwards I ran into more friends. Then me & Joe snuck off to taco bell, (sorry Jim), I only picked @ my food @ the resturant. I ran into Drew & Kayla again. Fancy seeing you here. Haha. We were having fun until a roach tried crawling into Kayla's purse! Haha. We all took off & I didn't have a tix, I asked around. This time it was kinda taking longer. I asked this girl like twice & then after a while I turned around & there she was again. I was about to ask her again & I caught myself & said 'wait, I already asked you like 3 times haven't I?' She then came up to my face pretty close (haha) and said 'you wanna see a show?' So, I said 'yeah sure'. I think I asked her how much & she said 'nothing'. So we go in together. I already knew it was a balcony seat, but it was free, she was adorable & hell I had a plan. I tried sneaking in downstairs & the nazi's were like 'excuse me' & I kept walking & the bitch followed me. And the asshole from the night before. I told him to fuck off & get a life. And when he was holding the door open, I gave an ugly dreadful look at his hands to make him feel bad that he's getting old. I know I'm evil. I can be when pushed. So I go back upstairs, back to that girl. Her name is Rebecca by the way. So, I'm sitting there & I get a text from Lisa telling me to go downstairs & meet her at the door during 'Pro. Widow'. Fucking awesome. So I tell the poor girl goodbye again & actually tried & get her to come down w/ me. No go. So, I am so happy I went when I did. Down the stairs I go, just walking. Quiet lobby. No one around. Except for me... and let's just say me & my fav. girl Isabel/tori had a connection. It was magical. I still think about it today & it is eerie. So, anyhow, rush over to Lisa & we walk in. Sat like 5th row I guess! They were good seats to me. Sat in front of Lisa & Nina. This is when I met my new friend Max. The guy seating right next to me. My seat mate. :o) I asked him where he was from & he said Silverlake! I said 'oh really, I use to live in Los Feliz for years' (that's right next door). We got on really fast & well. We exchanged numbers and I kept running into him every show after. Hi Max! Ok, so this show was the best out of the 3 Oakland shows because she did a lot of my requests. I don't ask her straight foward (ok, maybe 'Parasol' I did) but in letter form, but not how you're thinking. And she did them in one night, so I was happy.
The show- 3rd Oakland show & the best out of the 3. First time for me seeing Clyde, so this night marks the point where I've seen all 5 dolls. The same 'ole songs & by now I am getting tired of hearing them over & over again. I was sitting around friends & had a pretty good seat. Then she started w/ all the songs I requested, which were: 'A sorta fairytale', 'The power of orange knickers' (one of my very most fav. songs I've never seen Tori do-I missed The Beekeeper tour (except for The Greek show), so I was playing catch up), 'Siren' and 'The Beekeeper' (for my G'pa and for me) so that was 4 songs in one night! Fucking hot! I was so pleased. She already did my 'CALS' the first Oakland show & my 'Beulah Land' my first show in Oregon. Now my 'Parasol' awaits me. It was really nice to hear one of my very fav. ever out of Tori's catolog of songs: 'Baker Baker'. This song will always take me back to the time, the moment I first heard this delicate, yet powerful song. Sheeeew, did she ever change my life. 'I know you're late for your next parade, you CAME to MAKE SURE that I'm not RUNNING'... and 'maybe not this time'... and the few piano notes right after that line, my god was I crying. Thank you tori for writing such a song/this and 'Pretty Good year' are sibblings, I know they are, that or soulmates. 'Rattlesnakes', 'Josephine' and 'Bliss' were really lovely to hear. Pretty damn, good show, but she was really tired and WAS IT SHOWING! Hope this DVD is worth all the time she spent making it, promoting it, perfecting it and allowing it to take up all her time and energy. Ooh and watching it in Arizona while we were all outside in the rain waiting for her. Whateves! Before the show I got to spend some time w/ my babies Kate & Chris. Love them to death. We must go to the beach again and get a new kite to fly! That other one was a cheap piece of gas station shit. Haha. I still have my Seahorse & turtle mood rings. I think of you everytime I wear them. :o) so after the show I hug all my friends goodbye! Sniff sniff. So don't remember much what we did after this. Were gonna eat @ a resturant w/ bunch of people but we all ended up back @ that fucking taco bell, lord help us! So...oh yeah, haha-we went thru the drive-thru & then parked next to lisa & shelia when this guy comes up & starts soluting us and calling himself commander. He did some gnarly push-ups as he counted off. Got some change from us, soluted us, then off he went. Haha. Wow. Jim, lisa & I left to go back to Jim's house. Lastnight there & I will miss his dad, mom, dog and house. Can I have your dog jim? Peeeaazzz? Come on!



March 6th, 2008

04:55 pm: 12/08 - 2nd OAKLAND SHOW




12/08-
Next day we get up get ready & hop in the car. Lisa's hair was prefect on this day. Haha. And such a lovely dress. She looked beautiful. We stopped by the store to get some cash. I got some bottled water & baby food, ONLY bananna, apricot, & hawaiian delight I like, so I don't wanna hear it! So we're back in that corner cafe sipping on a glass of hot tea. Soooo good! All the sudden I see this girl swing open the door and rush over to me & I'm thinkin' 'what's this crazy girl doin?' Then she gets closer and yells 'Raven'! It was Theresa! Most of you will know her as 'the girl w/ the pink mohawk'. I was sooo happy to see her. I haven't seen her since Scarlet's Walk. So it was funny, here the 3 girls that did the Scarlet tour together again, me, lisa & theresa only person missing was Katey and she joined the tour later @ the end. It was beyond words.
Chasidy, Jim's friend who got him into tori years ago was there too. She's so cute. Ursula, Joe, lisa & shelia showed up. Off to get tix. Spent more time w/ Drew, Kayla & Aidan. Their so funny! Give me a laugh when I need one! The show- yea! We got Pip again! Good. As everyone knows that the fuckers that worked there were camera nazi's, & seat nazi, drink nazi's, everything-wouldn't let me bring my water in, got me out of my seat 'cause of my camera (no big deal, I just got up, went pee, came back & sat in a better seat-thanks dude, you did me a favor cock sucker). I should have scratched his white SUV that I watched him get into after the show. I got some good shots this night. I have to read more about my camera, there's so much stuff this little creature does! I have a feeling I'll find a better setting for concert photograpy. Oh well, it is what it is.
The show-
2nd night & taping for the Dvd. Same 6 Pip songs were done that I already seen.

Again, 'Big wheel', 'Crucify', & 'Cornflake girl'. My fav. were in there-'Space dog', Putting the damage on' & 'Cloud on my tongue'. Good to see Under the pink & Pele come out. The rest of the show I already seen. Too many times. Yawn. I was feeling really down & wondering what the hell was going on. Everybody was ranting about how great this tour was & how good the shows were and I just wasn't seeing it. I was cold & tired & just wanted to go home (jim's home). So. Jim, Lisa & I left to go back to his place & we went to bed. Me & Lisa were too tired to talk. I laid there & thought How things are different. I thought about how old Tori was getting. I thought about how old I was getting. I thought how I missed Joel, I thought about how I missed The Dent. All the things that made this little tori world of mine a happy little place. The mystery is gone. I thought about how crappy the merch was & how I haven't bought anything from the last 2 tours. How newbies think they can come in & tell the OG's what to do-funny! I refuse being bossy, demanding, agressive, a ass kisser or putting myself out there as a tix whore that would do anything to get front row, as I witnessed a few doing just that in Oakland. I don't need to be all up in someone's face & rubbing up on them, nor spending 2 hours around the corner alone w/ Smitty. Disgusting. It's sad to see friends just change into something not so pleasant right before your eyes. But I say to myself again & again 'seems as if we're circling for VERY different reasons'. I watched things go down in Oakland that turned me off. That shit wasn't cool. I was thinking about all these things & more...till finally I fell to sleep. Goodbye tori world...

February 29th, 2008

03:33 pm: LEAVING SEATTLE FOR OAKLAND- FIRST OAKLAND SHOW 12/07




12/07-
When my friend woke me up, I didn't even know where I was at. I had asked her to wake me up @ a certain time & she didn't, she woke me up like 15 minutes before Josh came to get us, so yeah I was pissed naturally. So we didn't have time to get coffee or eat, but I can't eat that early, I feel sick to my stomach. So off we go, she doesn't say one word to me as if SHE'S mad @ me! Yeah that makes sence? But she keeps telling her boyfriend to tell me to hurry up. We get to the airport & go our seperate ways. I had to wait, but I ate at this yummy breakfast place, got lotion @ the gift shop & got money out of an ATM for tickets (thinking ahead, even @ 7am) I sit & waited, seemed not that long before boarding. The weirdest thing, like I was going to be late. As always time snuck up on me, that cocki bastard! And I was almost running late, good thing there was this little guy w/ a cart asked if I needed a ride! Right in front of me! Perfect timing! So, I hopp on w/ my heavy bag & good thing because he drove to the very very very end of the airport! And me & the guy that hopped on after me were laughing because he was speeding & honking that little horn! We laughed again when we got to the end & looked @ each other & saying at the same time 'I would have had to walk this far? My god, good thing I took you'. I tipped him $2.00, but would have tipped him more if I had a five on me. I couldn't fummble thru my wallet, my plane was boarding. We blew each other kisses and I flew off. The plane ride was nice. Got into Oakland 25 minutes early, but since we were early there was another plane parked where we needed to be. Oh yeah I forgot to mention, they marked my luggage 'late'. She said there was no guarantee that my bags would be on the same plane as me, that I might have to wait for the next plane to come in w/ my bags! They were there! Thank all the gods. So, I asked charlie, this cute little old man behind the information desk where I'd catch the Bart. So I go stand out there & Jim calls me wondering where I'm at. So I get on this aipport bus to catch the Bart, there's these 2 wonderful people Kathy & Ron to which I would like to call my tour guides, the most funnest chaporons ever! They came along w/ me the intire way, showed me where to go, upstairs, downstairs, how to buy a Bart ticket. We got on the Bart together & talked about traveling & I told them about Tori tours & my friends. They thought it was so interesting! They were so helpful & friendly. I told them that I should take a picute of them as part of my journey. They just stood together & smiled. One of my fav. memories! With a wave and 'have fun' they were gone. I went upstairs to ground level and there I was! Across the street and about a block from The Paramount. So easy & all this w/ my suitcase and bag. Excellent! I walk up there, there's not a soul around. Except like a guy or two walking around. So I leave my bags there & went across the street to take pictures of the marquee. Then I go back & walk around the corner w/ my bags & guess who I see in that little parking lot on the corner? Of all people Ursula & Joe! Haha. So after awhile I go up to them & once again end up putting my bags in her car again. Then the 3 of us went to go find a place to eat, we got in the car & drove to Berkley. THIS WAS ONE OF MY FAV. TIMES ON TOUR & I WILL NEVER FORGET IT! We got out & walked around all over, looking @ the venders and shops and amebia. We found a pizza place & me not liking Italian food that much I wasn't that excited, but one of my New Year's resolution was/is to try new things or stuff I hardly eat. I loved this pizza, it was the best pizza I had tasted. I got tomato & basel add pineapple. We ate as the red hot chili peppers pumped out of the speakers. We went into this thrift shop & I just had to take a picture of the wigs 'cause it reminded me of ADP. Haha. Tori should have came out w/ a mullet wig. Haha.. We had so much fun. I bought 4 bumper stickers and we took a lot of photos. It was a beautiful day! We were trying to guess the setlist for the night on our drive back to The Paramount. We knew it was going to be generic 'cause of the DVD's. Oooh what fun! We get back and mingle. I see more friends and huggles were in order. I ran into some East Coast friends and we chatted. Some of these friends I haven't see for 4 years! We had a lot of catching up to do, but guess their minds were fixed on something else. Oh Well. Oh & it's pretty sad when you're so drunk that you can't even remember if you met someone before or twice. My god. Lame. So my Sammy J finally joins the tour here & we hug. Some time during this Lisa shows up w/ her bags, her flight delayed and she got there after me even tho. her flight was 3 hours before mine. I also text her while I was on the plane to let her know there were no Oakland meetngreets. So that early 7am flight was for nothing. But we were @ the Seattle meetngreet, so I don't know why she wanted to make it for that meetngreet? I don't know. But she put her bags in Jim's car and off we all went into a nice new resturant/cafe they had next to The Paramount. These people were smart because there was nothing else around for miles. They made a lot of money off me, my friends and all the other people who were there to see Tori for those 3 days! My other friend Joe that lived in LA, now lives in Berkley called me and let me know he was here! Hurrah! So he joined us at the cafe. And I found my beloved Drew & Kayla w/ baby. :o) It is always good to see them & catch up on things. Even tho. we text, it's not the same as seeing them in person. Always looking so goooood. Can't wait to meet your son, Aidan Valentino Ryan! I know he's going to be amazing! YOUR SON drew! How does that sound? Awesomely beautiful! - can't believe it! Sweet Kayla looks so beautiful all the time, but more so now...you're gonna be a great mommy! That baby's lucky! Love you guys! I ran into Danny (you know tall Danny) haha. In the bathroom line it is always good to see him. & Glo. I'm not quite sure why she is so quiet this tour, she seemed tired or sad. She really didn't talk to anybody. Which reminds me, I've noticed a lot of my friends missing this tour. Some were busy & others said that they just wern't feeling tori as much anymore. I feel the same way. I will ALWAYS love tori, but lately I am missing the old tori & how things use to be. I miss the mystery, the excitment everyone had around her, things were special, eclectic. No wigs, no mainstream, no self promoting 24/7. I missed Danny Q., Christopher (what ever happened to him. I been trying to get a hold of him, but no one knows where he went to), missed Jim F., my girl Chrissie (love you), Dorena, Rasta, Mazzy (hiiiiii!), my babe Gary, Julia, little Kelly, Mark from Sanfran, Nick, even someone I didn't want to see Tito, and a lot of others- can't forget Schlyce and Sean who really didn't feel like going. It's kinda sad. But I totally understand. Believe me, I do. I was really tired of all the tour drama & the idiots that show up every show & call themselves 'tori fans' when they act totally oppisate of what tori believes in, what she preeches & sings. I am & always will be shell-shocked that these are tori people. These 2 faces idiots that fester & linger @ her shows. I remember the day when I first noticed this years & years ago. I sat back & watched, I couldn't believe my eyes, how these people acted, I remember looking down @ my ticket to make sure it was infact a Tori Amos concert I was at. This made me very sad. I pictured a whole intirely different scene of like-minded peeps. Boy was I disillusioned. This will be my question of the Century. Anyhow, so I was just missing seeing these faces, but I understand. I did get to see Jess's cute face. One of my favourite hookers of the whole bunch! We did spent some time, but not nearly enough. That's alright-we have our hiking/camping dates to look foward to! :o)
Before the show we all sat on the stairs by the bar downstairs. The 2 joe's, ursula, jim and running down the stairs, Kate & Chris! My homegirls. Haha. So glad to see my babers! Kate being one of my best friends & all. Me & Joe sat together that night, the other Joe in the row behind us. Front center Balcony (yes, I know but we had plans, think we didn't?) So it was our night to cut loose and dance and do what ever we wanted since we had balcony and just didn't care. I'll tell you ironiclly this was one of the funnest shows for me, because we could see tori pretty well & everyone (spy) & take In the beautiful architect of the building. Pretty good sound from there believe it or not. We danced like a couple of loons, while the other Joe thought we were crazy (just kiddin'). We later just danced our way downstairs and walked to the side and kneeled by a familiar face. OMG! It was my friend Mike from the San Fernando Valley! Small world. Small Tori world! Lol. The one I met breifly in a parrking lot @ Ralphs. my friend & I parked next to a white SUV w/ the license plate reading 'Tori Amos', my friend's 'Datura'. OMG, how funny is that? We waited for the people to come out, you know how it is. So, this guy comes out w/ his friend. We talked & laughed, showed him our plates. We been friends ever since! We only email/text since then. And there he was sitting in that seat where I so happened to stop. He was all like 'omg raven'! Haha. Infact he was holding the license plate that night, haha, don't ask me why! It was so cool. Then me & joe got pretty close to the stage. I got some pretty good photos. After the show I spent some time w/ lisa (bootleg lisa, I call her :o) ), Shelia and Jaime. Can't remember much after that. Oh yeah the set list-I got to see Santa for the first time. Santa's cool with me. I love 'Body & Soul' and 'She's your cocaine', 'Secret Spell' is a very lovely song live. You've got to do a 180.! That 'Bring your Dog' song, really don't like. But I do like the part where she says 'and ain't that a good thing' or something. Nice. This song reminds me of a 80's band playing at your local bar.
Who doesn't like 'Swirl', rock out! 'Big Wheel', 'Crucify' and 'Cornflake Girl' once again! I think I fell asleep. Kidding. Well, here she does one of my requested songs, 'Caught a lite Sneeze'! If this was the only song on the setlist everynight & she played it 15x's over and again, I would be in cream land. I'd never get sick of it! EVER! This is my #1 fav. song by Ms. Amos! The 'woman in the mirror' improv was nice & to hear tori talking again. Loved the message behind her words. I love Tori's Mother, when ever I hug her, it feels like home. A warmth I wish I had in a Mother. Mary sure has a strong life fource. So does her Father. Tori got that. 'Winter' is a fav. Never get sick of it. Cooling was nice 'cause it was the first time I heard it in a long while. So there were a few gems in there. I was pretty distracted these 3 days. By people, things happening around me & a lot on my mind. After the show we most likely ate @ taco bell since it was the only thing around. We ate there everynight. Sick. So, Jim, Lisa & I went back to Jim's house in San Jose which wasn't a very long drive at all. We went right to bed. Me & lisa, the loving couple, just kidding. She's the perfect person to sleep with, doesn't kick, she says she snores, but I never heard her and she never steals the blankets! Hey, we're blanket friends. It was soooo nice to see Jim's mom, dad & dog again. It's been way too long. I love that dog! I wish he was my dog, seriously. Loved the way they redone their bathrooms. Wow! All this & waking up @ 5:30am in Seattle, not too bad. You all should be proud of me.





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